


Born to Die

by emilyjade91



Series: Born To Die [1]
Category: Beyblade
Genre: Coming of Age, Depression, F/M, Female Friendship, Female Relationships, Gen, High School, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-18
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2017-12-29 18:28:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 42,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1008622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyjade91/pseuds/emilyjade91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the person we think we are, isn't the person we turn out to be in the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

Hilary could lie in this bed forever. It wasn't her own bed and many other people had slept in it before but it was so comfortable and soft and warm and perfect in every way possible. Hilary bolted up straight away. She was falling in love with a bed. Something was clearly wrong with her. It was early September in Russia. She honestly had no idea why she was even here. The bladebreakers were all but defunct as they decided to not compete any more but they all had moved to Russia, following Kai there. She now lived in a hotel, her own room, _finally_ , with roughly 600 other occupants. Even Kai had a room, though he was four floors higher in a much bigger suite than she had. She didn't care about that. Tomorrow was the first day of school. Hilary didn't even want to think of school. All she wanted to do was sleep and sleep and eat instant noodles and soft pretzels and sleep some more. She leaned back into her super-soft pillows and pulled her cover over her head. Yes, this was the place to be.

/

Hilary stared at her reflection. Pale, dull and kind of boring, like normal. She kind of wished she had grown a bit more, both in the height and boobs department but she wasn't meant to be, she guessed. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and walked back out into the room. She had been here two days and it already looked like a bomb went off. The small kitchenette had food wrappers everywhere, she had managed to get every piece of clothing she was wearing on the floor and she had lost her hair brush. Had she even packed her hairbrush? She looked around, even looking under the bed. There was a knock at her door, Hilary got out from under the bed and walked over to the door.

It was Tyson and Max, with big grins on their faces. “Dinner?” Max asked.

“It's dinner time already?” Hilary asked. “I just got up.”

Max's grinning face turned into one with concern. “Are you feeling okay?” He asked.

“Yes, I just...slept...all day.” Hilary said slowly.

“Well, you can just have your dinner as breakfast. Come with us!” Tyson said.

Hilary shrugged. “Okay.” She said, turning around to go get her jacket and bag. “Where's everyone else?” She asked, pulling her jacket on.

“Kenny mentioned working out his study plan, Rei's skyping Mariah and Mr Grumpy pants is being his usual loner self.” Tyson replied as they walked down to the elevators. “He didn't even answer his door. I had to call him!” The elevator dinged as the doors opened. “I thought he'd be a bit social after all these years.”

“Well, you know how stupid you were thinking that.” Max said, pushing “L”. “Kai will always be the prince of darkness who prefers solitude over company, you know that.”

“Then why does he spend so much time with Tala?” Tyson asked haughtily.

Max shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe he can't stand your obnoxious personality sometimes.”

Tyson turned to Max with a look of shock on his face. “I'm obnoxious?” He asked, his voice echoing in the small elevator. “He's more obnoxious than I will ever be!”

“How about your both as obnoxious as each other?” Hilary asked.

Tyson and Max turned around to her, Tyson's face red with anger while Max was sniggering. “What?” Tyson yelled as the elevators dinged and opened.

“You heard me.” Hilary said, walking past them and out of the elevator.

/

Hilary slid the key card into the reader and pushed the door open. She flicked the light-switch on and dropped her backpack onto the ground. Dinner had been interesting. Max and Tyson bickered the entire time about anything and everything that they could think of while Hilary spent most of the time trying to read the menu with her tiny Russian translation book. She was so thankful that they were enrolled in an English speaking school otherwise she would probably flunk out the first day. She pulled her jacket off, hanging it over the back of a chair that was around the small dining table, which Hilary had piled stuff upon. She licked the power button on her laptop. She was exhausted from doing absolutely nothing. She felt lonely. Sure, the boys were good friends but Mariah was her only female friend and she was back in China. She wished that she had asked Mariah to come with them. She kicked her shoes off and sat down. She opened her email and there was a emails from Mariah and her mother. She clicked the one from Mariah, her mother could wait.

**Hilary,**

**Are you awake? I tried calling you before but you didn't answer. I guess you spent all night on tumblr. You should really get off your computer sometime and NO, that does not mean go straight on to the television! I hope your first day tomorrow goes well. I know what your like and you will never admit how bad it will go so I tell you, CHIN UP AND MAKE SURE NO SKANK GOES NEAR REI, OKAY? It's not him I don't trust, it's single bitches who don't know who is off limits. I trust you but because I know you still nurse that massive thing for Kai still. Don't curse me. I know you do. I'll email you tomorrow.**

**Love, Mariah.**

Hilary felt like punching the computer screen. She did not, never had, a crush on Kai. Mariah was just spewing her usual bullshit that Hilary ignored. Hilary got up and got a soda from the fridge before sitting back down. She clicked reply.

_Mariah,_

_your insane you know that. I told you a million times, I DON'T LIKE KAI LIKE THAT, I don't know how many times I need to say it. I should get a shirt made up. And bumper stickers. And a flag. And a website and then maybe, you might get it. Yes, I promise to keep every skank away from Rei. Should I have a shirt made up for him saying: MARIAH'S PROPERTY. DO NOT TOUCH OR YOU WILL DIE? I think that will be a lot more easier than explaining to every girl that talks to him that he has a girlfriend. Does that go for teachers too? I haven't been sitting on my computer or television. FYI I actually left the room for the first time today, into fresh air. Please come here. You can go to school here and you can fight the uber-skanks off yourself. Please? I'll do anything. I need you, I can't be alone in this!!!_

_Hilary._

_PS. I'm not joking._

Hilary clicked send and before she could hit the Firefox button, she shut the lid to her laptop. She need to get to sleep sometime before 1am otherwise she'd look horrible for her first day and she couldn't do that. She got up, picking her flannel plaid pajama pants off and old large black shirt off the ground, and got dressed for bed. She set an alarm, six alarms so that she'd actually wake up, brushed her hair, looked for her hairbrush again and hopped into bed. She picked her headphones off the bedside table and turned the lights off. She leaned into the super-soft pillows, sighing with relaxation. When she left this place, she was defiantly taking these pillows, or at least finding where they came from. She popped her headphones in and pressed play, closing her eyes. She was nervous about tomorrow. She had never started school where she didn't know most of the kids attending. She felt like a giant fish out of the ocean. She felled asleep with Frank Ocean's _Sweet Life_ playing softly into her ears.

She dreamed about Kai all night.


	2. Two

Hilary woke up to the sound of her alarm ringing, echoing throughout the room. She groaned and turned her head into the pillow. “No, no, no....” She said into the pillow. The last thing she wanted to do was get up and go to school. She could hear rain which meant it was probably freezing outside. She grudgingly got up, silenced her alarm and flopped back down onto the super-soft pillows. Her phone vibrated. Who texted someone at this time of the morning? Hilary grabbed her phone and opened up the message. It was Tyson, telling her that they were all meeting in the lobby in thirty minutes to walk together. What were they, five? She threw her phone onto the blanket towards the end. She sighed. She got up, had a quick shower, which she would've spent all day in if she had a choice and pulled on her school uniform. Hilary stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. “Really?” She said to reflection. She rolled her eyes, going back out of the bathroom. She pulled on her jacket, shoved her notebooks into her backpack, grabbed her phone and umbrella and left her room. She wished she was starting junior year back at home. Not that she had any friends other than the boys. And the people who were her friends before now treated her different, like she was an alien or something. Hilary scratched the side of her neck. Was she going to make any friends here? If she did, then it would probably be a miracle. The elevator door dinged open. She was the last one to arrive, even Kai had beaten her.

“Take long enough?” Tyson asked, his uniform was already askew and messy.

“Whatever.” Hilary said, walking past them.

“Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” Tyson asked from behind her.

“Bite me!” She called over her shoulder. She had forgotten how annoying Tyson was at this time of the morning. Scratch that, he was annoying every time of the day.

/

Homeroom, sucked. First period, Algebra II, sucked. Second period, French, sucked. Third period, Advance English, sucked. Fourth period, lunch, was so far sucking. Hilary stared down at her tray. She could really go for a diet coke and Doritos right now instead of... Hilary had no idea what was in front of her. She knew she couldn't eat it. She looked down the table. Kai and Tala were sitting across from each other, silent; Rei was watching Tyson and Max eat the disgusting lunch, laughing while Kenny looked on in disgust. Hilary wondered why she didn't fit in as much as she wanted to, the only real reason she could come up with was it because she was a girl and she didn't have a penis. She looked around the cafeteria. There was no way she saw herself hanging out and being friends with the only person who had spoken to her. Megan McPherson had asked her if Kai was single which Hilary replied with a shrug of the shoulders which obviously wasn't what Megan wanted. It was obvious Megan was some kind of “queen bee” around the school but Hilary couldn't care less. High school popularity seemed to... vapid and useless after school finished.

“Earth to Hilary.....?”

Hilary snapped her head towards Tala. “What?”

Tala raised an eyebrow, chuckling. “What's your deal?”

“Nothing is my deal.” She replied.

“Are you sure?” He asked. “Why you staring out to space then? Have you been...” He raised his hands to his mouth. “Cause you know you have to share, you can't hold out.”

The bell rang. Hilary stood up, pulling her backpack on. “Even if I did have some, I wouldn't share with you.” She said, picking up her tray. She briefly looked at Kai, who seemed even more spaced than she was, and walked away.

/

The rest of the day dragged on, it felt like seven-thirty in the evening when it was still two-thirty. Hilary spent all of last period wanting to fall asleep, which wouldn't have been hard, considering the modern history teacher droned on about world war two in a monotone voice. She still had that hankering for Doritos, so she stopped at the nearest grocery store. Hilary stood at the end of the first aisle. She looked down at the empty trolley. She was going to have to carry this all back. Why hadn't she convinced Tyson or Max to come with her and carry it back for her? God, she was so stupid sometimes. She wondered if she could take the trolley back, after she had taken everything upstairs.

“What are you doing?”

Hilary froze for a moment before turning around very slowly. “Buying food?”

Kai stared at her with his normal blank expression. “And how do you plan on getting it back?” He asked.

Hilary stared at him. She and Kai weren't normally left alone, try like ever, so the air between them was awkward. “I'm going to carry it.” Hilary said.

Kai's eyebrow rose slightly. “Really?”

Hilary crossed her arms. “Yes, really!”

Kai shifted. “Do you want me to help you carry it back?”

Hilary shrugged her shoulders. “If you want too.” She said, turning back around and heading off down the aisle. A sickening thought ran through Hilary's head. Kai was about to see what she ate when nobody was looking. She was about to show her disgusting side. Hilary gripped the handlebars of the trolley tighter. What the fuck had she gotten herself into?

/

“You like Doritos.” Kai stated as the elevator doors closed.

Hilary stared at her feet. “I don't...really.” She said in a small voice. This had been one of the most awkward thirty minutes of her life.

“You just brought seven packets.”

Hilary's cheeks flushed. “Well...”

“Well, what?”

“You didn't have to help me!” Hilary gripped the plastic bags in her hands so tight they cut into her skin. She had no idea what gave Mariah the impression she had any remotely romantic feelings towards Kai because the only feeling she had right now was the one of bashing his head in. The elevators dinged opened and Hilary bolted out, down the hall to her room. She put the bags down and reached into the inside pocket of her jacket and fished out her room key. “You can put them here, I can manage.” She said, opening her door.

Kai placed the rest of the bags next to the other ones and stood back. “I bet you can.” He said, walking back down to the elevators.

Hilary stared at his retreating back. She wanted to bang her head against the door frame. She finished putting the bags into the small kitchenette and flopped down onto her bed. She rolled over, pushing her hair out of her face. She didn't know whether or not she was exhausted or sad. How was she going to last the rest of the school year before admitting defeat on life?


	3. Three

**Hilary? YOU HAVE NOT RESPONDED TO MY EMAIL. TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED?**

/

**HILARY CAROLINE TACHIBANA, I SWEAR IF I HAVE TO GET ON A PLANE TO COME THERE AND KICK YOUR ASS TO RESPOND TO ME, I WILL KILL YOU AND BRING YOU BACK TO LIFE.**

/

**I WILL CALL THE POLICE.**

/

**HILARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

/

Hilary stared at her laptop. Her best friend had clearly lost her mind. She had fallen asleep, slept all night and only woke up to the sound of her alarm going which meant she never sent a email reassuring Mariah that Rei wasn’t stolen away from her. Hence why she had 104 unread emails plus the four she had opened up. Hilary kicked off her shoes as she clicked reply.

_You are over-reacting. Rei is fine. Nobody is going to steal him; you can kind of tell he has a girlfriend by how he acts. Way too nice and you know he’s way out of their league. Plus, I’m pretty sure they all got a vibe that he has a way too crazy girlfriend who would probably kill someone for smiling at him. Plus I didn’t respond because I was sleeping, normal people do that you know? Plus school sucks. There is nobody cool there and nobody wants to talk to me, they think I’m weird or something or that I’m some kind of goth or a slut, I don’t know. Just calm down. I promise, everything is fine._

Hilary clicked ‘send’ and leaned back in her chair. She supposed that she should begin her home work so she got up, got her backpack and sat back down again. She pulled out the English novel they were reading, _The Purist of Happiness_ , and her maths notebook. Hilary stared at the two books before deciding she needed brain food to help do her homework. She went and got a packet of Doritos and a can of soda and sat back down. Hilary had no energy to do anything. She sat there for twenty minutes, staring at the books in front of her before she realized. She yawned as she pushed the books to the side and pulled her laptop back in front of her. Mariah hadn’t replied yet so Hilary decided to quickly send her mother an email before she ended up googling pictures of kittens. Hilary couldn’t help but smile as she scrolled through the images of the small, furry little animals. She looked at her email tab to see that a little ‘1’ had appeared. Hilary switched over and clicked the new email from Mariah.

**I’M OVER-REACTING?! LIKE REALLY?! What if one of them slipped him a love potion or something? You don’t know them. You should become a spy. Befriend them, and then when they least expect it, get rid of the enemy! You slept every second after school until your alarm went off the next day? What did you do to get you so exhausted? I think I can think of something or more like a certain someone perhaps? A certain, tall dark and handsome Russian? Fuck those bitches. You have me and I will come kick their asses if need be, okay? I wish I was there. It would be so cool! We could even share! I mean, I’m kind of glad Rei is bunking with Max and not Tyson. Tyson eats in his bed and ugh can you imagine all the crumbs???**

Hilary laughed until she looked around the room. Mariah would have a field day with the mess that was her room. Hilary wished she was more girly and clean like Mariah. It was probably the reason why she didn’t have a boyfriend. All the boys back home thought she was some loud mouthed bitch.

_Mariah,_

_Love potions don’t exist. You should be scared if they slip him a roofie though I don’t think they are those kind of girls. I think they think he’s cute and nice and sweet and that they wish they could have their own personal one like him. I would be the worst spy. I was tired. I’ve just been so tired lately, it doesn’t help that the sun goes down quickly and it’s eternal darkness by 4:30 in the afternoon. WE ARE NOT GOING BACK TO THE “TALL, DARK AND HANDSOME RUSSIAN” THING AGAIN, OKAY? It was bad enough dealing with him at the grocery shop let alone in your emails._

_I would never eat in my bed. Boys are gross._

_Hil._

/

Hilary turned the page of _The Purist of Happiness_ as she continued on reading. The teacher, was either deaf or he didn’t care, about the noise the kids around her were making. They were meant to be reading their book but most had started chatting.

“So,” Tala said from next to her.

Hilary paused. On the first day, she had sat up in the back corner alone and thought it was going to stay that way until Tala sauntered in late and sat next to her. She knew there was a reason why she hated the idea. “So what?” She asked, turning to face him.

“What’s up?” He asked.

Hilary stared at him for a moment. “What’s up?” She repeated.

Tala nodded. “Am I not allowed to ask ‘what’s up’?” He asked with a playful grin on his face.

Hilary shrugged and turned to her book. “Nothing is up. I’m reading, something you’re meant to be doing.”

Tala picked up his book and opened it up. “Feisty.” He said under his breath.

Hilary dropped her book onto the table. “What was that?”

Tala feigned a look of innocence to her. “Nothing. Just something Kai told me about you.”

Hilary froze, eyes wide open. “What did Kai say about me?”

Tala smiled at her. “Nothing.” He said. “Why aren’t you reading your book? That’s what we’re meant to be doing, you know.”

Hilary felt a surge of anger spread throughout her body, she picked up her book, staring at the tiny words. She had lost where she was up to. Fucking asshole.

/

Hilary pulled her French notebook, algebra notebook and her social studies notebook out of her locker and into her backpack. She pulled out her jacket and pulled it on. The weather was becoming even more freezing; Hilary wasn’t used to wearing a jumper, a long sleeved shirt and coat outside. She was extremely thankful that the school was heated which meant she didn’t walk around all day looking like an Eskimo. Hilary walked down the corridor, alone, while students around her noisily said goodbye to each other. Hilary began the lonely walk home. She didn’t mind being alone but she had nobody here to talk too. The boys wouldn’t understand, Tyson and Max would get confused, Tyson would probably insult her which would end in a fight, Kenny would stare at her if she was speaking a foreign language, Rei would listen but he would probably feel like he was out of his limits and Kai was a definite no-go zone. Hilary was glad it wasn’t raining at least. She stifled a yawn as she set about onto the hotel.

“Oi!”

Hilary looked up. Tala and Kai were up head, standing there looking at her. “What?” She asked as she walked up to them.

“What are you doing?” Tala asked as they fell in step with her.

Hilary raised her eyebrow. “What does it look like I’m doing?” She asked, jamming her hands into her pockets.

“It’s Friday. Got plans?”

Hilary shook her head. “Does it look like I have plans?”

“Who got your panties in a bunch?”

Hilary turned and punched Tala in the arm. “God, you’re a douche!” She said, picking up the pace.

“Hey!” Tala said. “I was asking because I was asking you if you wanted to hang out with us tonight.”

Hilary stared at him. “You want me to hang out with you?”

Tala shrugged. “Why not?” He asked. “Got a problem with that cause Kai doesn’t.”

Hilary gave Kai a look but he just shrugged back at her. “And what are you two doing tonight?”

“We’re going to a party but we’re having drinks first up in Kai’s room.”

Hilary thought about it. Sitting alone, on Friday night, in a lonely dark hotel room or out, possibly freezing to death, with two boys and alcohol. There wasn’t a simpler choice. “Fine, I’ll come out with you.” She said. “On one condition.”

Tala laughed. “Yes!” He said wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I’ll do anything you say, my lady!”

Hilary wriggled out of his grip. “Stop acting like a douche.”


	4. Four

Hilary stared at her room in a state of shock. What had she done agreeing to join Tala and Kai at a party? Hilary shrugged her backpack off, walking further into the room, wiping her mouth. She had no idea what the fuck she was going to wear. What was she meant to wear? Hilary felt the sudden urge to send Kai a message and tell him she wasn’t coming. Hilary scratched at the side of her neck as she walked over to the table and sat down in front of her laptop, running her finger over the mouse pad. She needed to email Mariah straight away. Hopefully Mariah would be online, China was only four hours ahead and she definitely needed Mariah’s help to plan an acceptable outfit. She got into her email and there was one brand new unread email from Mariah sitting there.

**Please, if you won’t admit he’s handsome then I will put you in my lesbian’s folder and you can prove to me that you’re not by admitting he is. I think you should take the first sip out of anything Rei drinks. Roofie’s are indictable by taste you know! AND YOU ARE THE ONE WHO PUT THAT IN MY MIND BTW! My mom is annoying me! Please just let me stay with you!!**

Hilary closed her laptop lid and pushed it away. Perhaps she would be better off not talking to Mariah considering Mariah’s current state of mind. Everything she owned was either Black, dark grey or dark blue. Hilary sighed, dropping her head onto the table. “Fuck!” Hilary said as she pulled her head back up grabbing it as she recoiled in pain. “Oh fucking hell!” She groaned as she stood up. Maybe she shouldn’t even bother going. She wasn’t exactly the type of person who partied every weekend or drank a lot. Actually scratch that last part. She wasn’t the type of person who liked drinking in front of lots of people. She sat back down and opened her laptop up. Mariah needed to be online right now. Hilary opened Skype up and scrolled down the list and double clicked on Mariah’s name.

**Are you there? Please be there. I’m going out to a party tonight and I need help.**

Hilary leaned back in the chair and took a deep breath. Why was she even worrying like a freaking psycho anyways?

_You’re going to a party? You?_

**Hahaha, very funny. Tell me what should be nice to wear?**

_And who are you going to the party with? IS IT A CERTIAN TALL, DARK HANDSOME PERSON I KNOW OF????_

**MARIAH, JUST TALK ABOUT CLOTHES!!!**

_Fine. Something short. And tight. Or let your boobs do the talking._

Hilary looked down at her chest and back up to the laptop screen.

**Um, okay? I guess I’ll find something.**

_IF YOU HOOK UP WITH KAI, SEND ME A MESSAGE. I WANT TO KNOW STRAIGHT AWAY!!!!!!_

Hilary slammed the lid shut. Mariah was crazy sometimes. Hilary leaned back into her chair. What the fuck has she gotten herself into?

/

Warm? Check.

Comfortable? Check.

Not looking like a desperate skank? Check.

Looking like she had no idea what she was doing? Check.

Hilary sighed. Tala had text her five minutes ago saying she should come upstairs to Kai’s room for some drinks. She wondered how he had gotten her number. She tossed her hair over her shoulders. She looked... alright, she guessed. She was wearing a long-sleeved black velvet dress that was kinda short, knee high stockings and her Dr Martins. Hilary shrugged her shoulders at herself and walked out of the bathroom. She pulled on her jacket and put her key card to her room in the inside pocket. She sat down in front of her laptop.

**I’ll video call you tomorrow when I wake up.**

Hilary closed her laptop, grabbed her phone and left her room. She hadn’t really spent a whole lot of time with Tala or Kai. They were both a lot like each other though Tala seemed a little less... standoffish than Kai. The elevator dinged and Hilary pressed the button to Kai’s floor. Hilary had never been to a party before. Well, birthday parties didn’t count. Hilary got out of the elevator and walked down the silent hallway to Kai’s suite. She stopped in front of his door. Maybe she should just get back in the elevator and go back down to her room. Yes, that sounded like a good plan. Then she could sit all night on Tumblr and eat Doritos. Hilary raised her hand and knocked on the door. She could hear the television blaring and then the door swung open.

“Hello...” Tala said, leaning against the door, shirtless.

Hilary frowned. “Why don’t you have a shirt on?” She asked as she walked past him. She stopped as she saw Kai standing in his kitchen with no shirt on either. “What are you two doing?”

Tala draped an arm over her shoulder. “We’re making drinks.” He said, walking over to Kai.

“Then why don’t you have shirts on?” Hilary avoided looking at shirtless Kai by looking around. Everything was neat. Not a speck of rubbish or clothes except for Tala’s jacket and shirt that were slung over lounge chair. Hilary walked over and sat on the sofa. They were watching some Russian program that looked confusing. Hilary took a mental note to not mention to Mariah that she had turned up to Kai’s to find him half naked with Tala because that would set Mariah off into a frenzy that would never end.

Tala stood in front of her. “This is for you.” He said, handing her a cup.

Hilary looked down, lifting the cup up to sniff it. “What is this?” She asked as she took a cautious sip, regretting it almost instantly. “Holy shit.”

Tala laughed as he sat down on the other end of the sofa. “It’s my special mix. Vodka, whiskey and coke.”

Hilary crinkled her nose as she took another sip. It wasn’t... that bad. “Bit strong, don’t you think?’ Hilary coughed.

“That’s the whole point.” Tala said. “The more alcohol, the better.”

“Right.” Hilary said, nodding her head slowly as she took another sip. “Is it just us going?”

Tala raised his eyebrows. “Do you always have to do everything as a team?”

Hilary frowned as she heard Kai snort from behind them in the kitchen. Was Tala trying to imply something? She knew that he and Tyson didn’t exactly get along but he sounded... Hilary decided that she wasn’t going to think about it. Boys were already complicated enough. “No.” She said, turning her attention to the television. She was starting to enjoy the drink Tala had given her.

“You’re different.” Tala said. “You’ve changed.”

Hilary stared at the television. Had she changed? “You’ve changed too.” She said, turning her head to him. “You’ve gotten more obnoxious.” She poked her tongue out at him.

Tala leaned across and grabbed the cup out of Hilary’s hand. “I’ll make you another, smartarse.” He said as he got off the sofa. Kai still hadn’t joined them, Hilary could see him still standing in the kitchen with his back to her. She wondered what he was doing. It didn’t sound like he was cooking. Hilary seriously regretted agreeing to go to this party. Tala returned with re-filled cups in his hand, sitting back down on the sofa, much closer than he was before. “You don’t have to sit on top of me.” Hilary said as she grabbed a cup out of his hand.

Tala laughed. “Aw, come on now. I don’t weigh a whole lot.” He said, raising his cup to his lips.

Hilary raised her eyebrow. “Are you sure?” She asked. “You’re looking a lot rounder in the face than from when I first met you.”

“That’s harsh, considering I’m making you drinks with all the niceness in my heart.”

Hilary paused. “You have a heart?” She asked.

Tala stared at her. “Kai, you never told me how much of a meany Hilary is.”

Kai chuckled as he turned around. Hilary stared at his naked torso. Holy god. She took a good swig of her drink and turned her head to the television. “Can’t handle the heat, Tala?” He asked. Hilary watched him out of the corner of her eye as he sat down on the recliner and passed Tala something before sticking something white to his lips and lighting it up.

“What are you doing?” She couldn’t help but ask. Kai smoked dope? Holy, maybe she was glad she turned up to this after all.

Kai looked at her. “What does it look like?”

Hilary looked at Tala who was lighting up his own. “Nothing.”

“Sounds like your getting all judgmental, and to think I thought you did it.” Tala said.

Hilary turned to him. “What?”

“You’re always spaced out and you know...”

Hilary raised her eyebrow at him. “You know what?” She bit out.

“Weird.”

Hilary slowed turned her head. “I’m weird?” She asked. “Of course, because you are the poster child for normal.”

Kai chuckled. “I think you’re annoying her, Tala.” Hilary turned to him, daring him to say anything. “Who knew you were an angry drinker?”

Hilary rolled her eyes. “When are we leaving?”

“We’ll leave after these drinks.” Tala said, standing up. “Do you want to come help me get dressed?” He asked, winking at Hilary.

Hilary felt her cheeks go hot. “Please, go find another girl to flatter yourself with.” She turned back to the television and downed the rest of her drink. Tala was annoying as Tyson was. Hilary could feel Kai staring at her. This was a side of Kai she had never seen before. Sure, she always thought he acted different when he wasn’t surrounded by people but this isn’t what she expected. Tyson would never stop going on about Kai smoking dope, Max would probably lecture about the adverse health risks, Kenny would probably have a nervous breakdown and Rei... well, Rei was a pretty chilled out guy. You would have to be if you were dating Mariah or otherwise it would be world war three every other day.

“Oi, space cadet!” Hilary turned to Tala who was clicking his fingers at her. “We’re leaving now.”

Hilary stood up too fast that caused her head to spin slightly and walked over towards the door, putting her empty cup on the bench. Tonight was not going to be fun.

/

Hilary was glad that they didn’t walk far or Hilary was going to demand them to call a taxi. Hilary recognized a few kids from school as they made their way inside. Hilary watched as Megan McPherson walked up to Kai with a huge smile on her face.

“Kai! I’m so glad that you came.” Megan said, fluttering her eyelashes as she spoke. “I was beginning to think this party was lame.” Hilary restrained herself from rolling her eyes. Megan was a typical, stuck up queen bee right down to her hot pink toenails. Megan turned to Hilary. “What are you doing here?” She asked, giving Hilary a haughty look.

Hilary frowned. What was she doing here? What did it look like she was doing? Hilary went to open her mouth.

“She’s here with me.” Hilary froze as she felt Tala wrap his arm around her waist. Hilary looked up at him as he gave Megan a smirk. What the hell was Tala playing at?! Hilary turned back to Megan. She looked relieved that Hilary was apparently not competition for Kai anymore.

“Well, that’s an interesting development.” Megan said, giving Hilary a very obvious fake smile. “You two are cute together.” The two girls standing behind Megan nodded in agreement. Hilary was _seriously_ regretting coming tonight.

Hilary wrapped her left arm around Tala’s stomach. “Thanks!” She said, mimicking Megan’s peppy tone. Megan’s eyes flashed something deadly as she realized Hilary was making fun of her.

“I was hoping if I could talk to Kai alone...” Megan said, looking Kai up and down.

Hilary felt Tala drag her around Megan and her friends leaving Kai behind. “Hey!” She said, pulling out of his grip. “What are you doing?” She asked as she pushed her hair out of her face.

Tala shrugged his shoulders. “Well, I couldn’t let her push you around like that could I? Plus she wants Kai alone.”

Hilary turned her head over her shoulders to see Kai going up the stairs with Megan and her two friends standing at the bottom of the stairs watching them. Kai was actually interested in Megan? Hilary turned back to Tala. That was just... Hilary didn’t know if she wanted to go home and crawl under the covers and cry or punch the wall until dawn. Hilary breathed in and breathed out. Nope, she did not care. “So, we are going to drink or what?” She asked Tala who was staring at her.

Tala smiled. “That’s the attitude!” He said, wrapping around her shoulders and directing her towards a crowded entry way. “Let’s find Bryan and Spencer.” Hilary forgot that Bryan and Spencer lived here too. They went to a private, all boys’ school that was close to their school.

“They’re here?” Hilary asked as they squished into the overcrowded kitchen. Whose house were they at anyways?

“Yo!” She heard Tala call out. Hilary could barely see in front of her. It was loud. Very loud. Loud from all the people that seemed to yell their conversations and the loud bass music that seemed to be coming from everywhere. Hilary was suddenly pushed into Tala who was apparently behind her.

“Ow!” She said, grabbing her arm where whoever that rude person was, pushed her.

“Are you okay?” Tala asked into her ear.

Hilary froze. Tala’s arms were wrapped around her waist and he seemed to be holding her up as they stood in the middle of the large kitchen. Tala’s mouth was dangerously close to her ear; his warm breath was sending a shiver down her spin. She nodded slowly. “Some jerk pushed me and my arm hurts.” She said rubbing it.

Tala’s hand pushed hers out of the way and replaced it with his. “Is that better?” He asked into her ear. His voice was low and doing dangerous things to her insides.

“Yes!” She squeaked, pulling out of his arms.

“He isn’t bothering you?” Hilary looked up. It was Bryan with Spencer just behind him. Both had two drinks in their hands.

Hilary shook her head. Thank god they had arrived. “Hi.” She said as Bryan handed her a drink. “Thanks.” She took a large sip. She definitely needed more of the alcohol. She also needed a time machine to go back to this afternoon when Tala invited her to the party and change her words from ‘yes’ to a ‘no’.

“Where’s Kai?” Spencer asked.

“He’s upstairs with a girl.” Tala said with a smug smirk on his face.

Hilary downed the rest of her drink. “I need more.” She said, giving the boys a smile. She did not want to think about what Kai was doing upstairs with that Megan McPherson but she knew it was not twiddling their thumbs. All three boys raised their eyebrows. “Seriously, where do I find the alcohol?”

Bryan plucked her drink out of her hands. “I’ll go get you another.” He said, giving her a smile. Hilary shifted her weight as she listened to Spencer and Tala talk to each other. In Russian which Hilary was kind of used too as Kai and Tala did a lot. She had the feeling Tala and Kai made fun of Tyson and the others in Russian in front of their faces. Did they make fun of her too? Bryan returned with re-filled drinks. “Here.” Hilary sipped that one much slower. She didn’t want them to think she was some crazy girl who got drunk and couldn’t handle her alcohol. When Tala went for another, she gave him her cup. When Spencer went for another, she gave him her cup. When Bryan went again, she passed her cup. She lost count after that. It became very hard to concrete without hurting her brain.

“Another...” She said, the word slurring out of her mouth. She could feel Tala staring at her funny. “What?” She asked him.

He held up his hands in protest. “Nothing.” He said.

“Isn’t this what you’re meant to do at parties?” She asked him, giving him a look. How could she not have realised Tala was kind of attractive? He was pale with dark red hair and light blue eyes. She had noticed some of the girls were standing around, looking at him with keen eyes. Tala laughed. “What? What’s so funny?” She asked, laughing herself.

Tala leaned close. “You think I’m hot.” He whispered into her ear.

Hilary pushed him away. “No, I don’t!” She said. “God, you are up yourself!”

“That’s what the ladies do call me.”

Hilary snorted. “Yeah right, in your dreams.”

“Just in yours sweetheart.” He said, giving her a wink.

Hilary turned to Spencer. “How have you put up with him for this long and not feel the urge to kill him?”

“I usually ignore him. He stops when he works out he isn’t getting any attention.”

“You’re meant to be on my side!” Tala shouted at Spencer.

Hilary was just happy Bryan had returned with more alcohol. They still hadn’t seen the return of Kai or seen a glimpse of Megan which meant both were still upstairs. Together. Hilary gripped the side of her cup. Why was she even angry? Kai was totally out of her league and apparently he liked girls like Megan. This explained absolutely nothing to her. Hilary suddenly felt dizzy, very very dizzy. Hilary grabbed her head in an attempt to regain focus on the spinning world. Whoa, this was exactly like rollercoaster. Spinning and that feeling like she was about to lose her stomach. Hilary could feel someone grabbing her arms. “Where’s my drink?” She asked, letting go of her head, looking around. Bryan and Spencer were looking at her with a weird look and Tala was holding her arms.

“Where’s your drink?” Tala repeated. “You dropped it.”

Hilary looked down at the ground, blinking a couple of times when she thought she saw four legs coming from her dress. “Oh no...” She said, looking back up at Tala. “Looks like I need another one...”

Tala shook his head. “No, I’m taking you home.” He said. “Bye guys.” He grabbed Hilary and pushed her towards the entryway out.

Hilary looked over her shoulder and waved. “Bye!” She called cheerfully, stumbling as Tala pushed her through the living room and out of the house. Hilary pulled herself away from him. “I don’t need your help getting back.” She said, walking away from him. She didn’t need him to guide her back to the hotel, she knew the way back.

“Really?” Was he going to follow her the whole way back just so he could be annoying? “Because you do realise you are going the wrong way?”

Hilary turned around. Tala was standing a few feet away with a big smirk on his face. “Whatever!” She said, walking back the way she just had come. “You can leave me alone now.” She said as she passed him.

“You see I can’t do that.” Tala said as he fell into step with her. “A whole bunch of people would have my ass if I just let you walk home in the middle of the night in a city you’re not too familiar in and you ended up hurt.”

Hilary rolled her eyes. “I’ll be fine.” She said. “I can handle walking to the hotel by myself.”

“Well, maybe you should tell Kai that. And Tyson, and Max, Rei and short-stack.”

“His name is _Kenny_!”

Tala laughed. “Whatever point is, even if they didn’t threaten me to make sure you were okay when I saw you alone, it’s my manly duty.”

“Your manly duty?” Hilary asked, giving him a look.

Tala smiled at her. “Yes, my manly duty.” He said.

“Don’t you have to be a man first?”

Tala clutched the area over his heart. “Ouch, you just broke my heart.” He said, sniffing loudly.

“You will get over it.” She said, shaking her head which made her head dizzy again and Hilary lost her footing, tripping over her own feet.

“God, I am never letting you drink again.” Tala said as he grabbed Hilary and threw her over his shoulder.

“Let me go!” She screamed as Tala kept walking. “I’m wearing a dress!”

“I know that...” Tala said as his arm shifted from her knees to mid-thigh. “You look very nice in it.”

Hilary was thankful Tala couldn’t see her burning face. “Thanks.” She mumbled. Her head wouldn’t stop spinning. She didn’t know if that was from the alcohol she had drunk or the fact she was half upside down. She did know the alcohol felt like it was burning her stomach like crazy. “How much longer?”

“Just got here.” Tala said as he carried her through the lobby and towards the elevators.

“You can put me down now.” She said as she heard the elevator doors open. “I’m quite fine from taking it here.”

Tala walked them into the elevator, putting Hilary down near the buttons. “Press what floor you’re on.”

Hilary stared at him. He wasn’t going to leave her alone until she was tucked up in bed, was he? She pressed her floor and the doors closed. “Happy?” She asked as she leaned against the wall.

Tala leaned in close, one hand above her head on the wall. “Very.” He said, winking at her.

“You think your funny, don’t you?”

Tala gave her a look that sent a shiver down her spine. “I do.” He said very quietly as he leaned even closer. If Hilary didn’t know any better, he was going to kiss her! Tala’s lips were suddenly on hers. Holy lord Jesus. Hilary didn’t respond until she felt his tongue making its way into her mouth. Oh god, the boy could kiss. Hilary leaned in, her hands travelling up his chest into his hair. Hilary moaned as she felt his hands on the inside of her jacket, gripping her waist tightly. Now she _didn’t_ regret coming out at all. Hilary vaguely heard the elevators ding for her floor and suddenly Tala was pulling her out of the elevator and pushing her against a wall. Hilary stared at him. Was this happening? Hilary didn’t have time to think as Tala walked over to her and pressed himself against her, his lips on hers again, making her head spin. “Left or right?” His voice was rough, Hilary could feel him breathing heavily.

“Um, er...” Hilary wasn’t thinking which way her room was. “Right.” She whispered as she tried to regain control over her body. Hilary followed Tala towards her room. She fumbled with the zipper to get her key card out. “I don’t feel good.” She said as she jammed the key card in and opened the door. Hilary rushed into the bathroom and heaved into the sink. Oh god, that was not fun.

“Are you...” Tala stood at the bathroom door. Hilary threw up a second time. “Wow, I’ve never made a girl vomit from kissing me before...”

Hilary groaned as she leaned against bench. “I would take that as anything wrong with your kissing abilities.” Hilary said before she vomited again.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////


	5. Five

“Oh my, you look... attractive.”

Hilary stared through narrow slits at Mariah. She felt like death that had been run over by a truck, a toilet brush jammed down her throat repeatedly, punched several times in the stomach and like last night had been one big let’s forget forever kind of night. “Shut up.” She said, leaning forward. “I hate myself.”

Mariah chuckled. “Oh, I bet you do!” She chirped in a cheery voice. “So! Tell me what happened last night!”

Hilary paled slightly. “Um... nothing too unusual...” Hilary said looking down at her keyboard. “You know... drinks...loud music...” And you know, making out with Tala in the elevator.

Mariah narrowed her eyes. “Tell me or I’ll find out whether or not you like it!”

Hilary sighed. “I may have... made out with Tala...?”

Mariah’s jaw dropped. “NO!” She said, her voice distorting slightly in through the laptop’s tiny speakers. “No!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Mariah!” Hilary smacked her palm against her head. She was far too hung-over to deal.

“Oh my god! Wait until I tell Rei!”

Hilary pinched the bridge of her nose between her eyes. “Oh no, you’re not.” Hilary said, giving Mariah a glare. “This stays between you and me.”

Mariah pouted. “But I tell Rei _everything_.”

“Well, you’re not telling him this!”

“So... how was it?” Mariah asked, leaning forward. “Was it good? Was steamy? Did he use tongue?”

Hilary felt her cheeks go red. “ _Mariah_! I’m not telling you!”

“Why not? I tell you things about Rei and me!”

“There are things that I clearly don’t need to know about Rei that you insist on telling me! I don’t want to know about the ‘cute little moans and groans’ when you guys have sex!”

“You’re my best friend! Who else am I meant to tell?”

“I don’t want to know what kind of noises he makes!”

“Fine, just tell me one thing...”

“What?”

“Was it good?”

Good would be an understatement. “Better than good.” Hilary said nodding her head. She had kissed three boys her whole life. The first two were boys back in elementary school during stupid kissing games and the other was Tyson last year in the middle of an argument. Tala _definitely_ kissed better than Tyson.

Mariah clapped her hands. “Yippee!”

“Why are you so happy?”

“Tala is good! A good choice! And plus, he’s totally hot like smoking hot.”

“I don’t think Rei would appreciate you saying that...”

“Oh how I wish I was there! Maybe I could convince my mother to let me do next semester there!”

“Would you? Because I don’t see me making any friends here.”

“I will make it my mission! Even if I have to runaway and get there by hiding in the luggage part of a plane.”

“Doesn’t that seem excessive? I mean, I’m pretty sure you can die in those places.”

“I don’t care! So, what was Kai doing while you were making out with Tala?”

Hilary shrugged her shoulders. “As soon as we got there, he went upstairs with this bitch Megan and I never saw him again but I can pretty much say I know what they were doing.” Mariah gave her sad, sorry look. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. I’m pretty sure I have no reason to get upset.”

“But but...”

“But but what? I was stupid for having feelings for him in the first place; he doesn’t like me so I’ll get over it.”

Mariah frowned. “Hilary...” She said, turning her head away. “Shit, mom’s calling me down for dinner. I’ll call you back later!”

“Okay, bye.” Mariah disappeared on the screen. Hilary leaned back in the chair. Oh did her head pound. Hilary didn’t know she could vomit so much up or that her stomach held that much food in there. Hilary didn’t know how she was meant to face Tala again. First they made out then she vomits in her bathroom sink and basically all over herself and then he helped her in the shower and oh my god, he had seen her naked! Holy shit, what was she doing to do?  Hilary bolted up, rushing over to the bedside table where her phone was on charge. She didn’t remember putting it on charge. Come to think of it, she didn’t even remember past the part when she heard Tala turning on the shower. Hilary sat on the edge of the bed. Did that mean he dressed her in her pajamas? Hilary pulled her phone off the charger. She had no new messages. Typical. She pressed Tala’s message folder. What was she going to say? Thanks for making sure I got home safe? Sorry you had to watch me vomit? Did you see me naked? Did you dress me? Did you enjoy our kiss as much as I did? Hilary stared at her phone. Maybe ‘thanks’ would do. Hilary typed thanks. Maybe ‘thanks for last night’ would be much nicer. Then he would actually understand what ‘thanks’ meant. Hilary pressed sent. Hilary tossed her phone onto the bed behind her. “What the fuck smells?” Holy shit that was her that smelt.

/

The rest of the weekend was slow and boring. Tala had texted her back saying that he did what any male did in his position and that he was glad she was feeling better. Hilary had no idea what to say back so she left it. She didn’t speak to anyone else other than Mariah who apparently had a plan of buttering her mother up to let her come for the second semester. Hilary pulled on her skirt. God she was tired. She hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before and she was paying for it now. Her eyes were puffy and sore and she could barely see through them. Hilary looked into the built in wardrobe. There were no clean school shirts left. Hilary turned around. She swore she had one left at least. Hilary spied one tossed on the sofa and walked over, picking it up and giving it a sniff. It didn’t smell. Hilary pulled it on and then her sweater and her jacket. It looked cold outside. It matched her mood. She had told Mariah that it hadn’t bothered her but it did. It was probably the reason why she hadn’t slept much last night as she stared up at her ceiling, listening to Adele and thinking of reasons why she wasn’t good enough for Kai. Hilary walked into her bathroom and picked up her can of deodorant and spraying it all over herself. God she hoped this shirt didn’t smell. She definitely had do washing when she got back from school. Hilary picked up her bottle of perfume and sprayed that all over as well. It didn’t hurt to be sure. Hilary rushed out, grabbing her backpack and key card and left. Hilary was dreading going to school. She would have to see a most likely smug Megan, emotionless Kai and... Well... probably the same old Tala. The elevator opened and Hilary froze momentarily before stepping in. “Hi.” She said as stared at the silver doors. This was awkward.

“Hi.” Kai replied. Hilary wished that it was Tyson who was in the elevator instead of Kai and that kind of said something. Tyson had boundless amounts of energy in the morning that drove everyone up the wall. Hilary still couldn’t understand how someone could be so awake so early in the morning.

“Did you have a good weekend?” Hilary asked as she looked over her shoulder to look at him. He looked the same, bored and uninterested, lent against the wall of the elevator. His long black coat made him look even paler.

“I guess.” He said slowly as the elevator dinged as they got the lobby.

Hilary bolted out of the elevator as fast as she could. She walked to school as fast as she could in the blistering cold wind that had seemed to pick up over night. Hilary wanted to turn around and go back up to her room and sleep. As she stepped into the warm corridor of the school building, she could feel something was going to go wrong today. Hilary made it safely to her locker. She opened it up, shrugging her jacket off and shoving it inside, swapping the books in her backpack for her morning ones, tossed her gloves on top of her jacket and then she turned to her left.

Tala smiled at her. “Hello.” He said as he leaned against the locker next to hers.

“Hi.” She said as she closed her locker. “What do you want?” She asked as she pulled her backpack on.

Tala raised his eyebrow. “How do you know I want something?”

Hilary frowned at him. “I don’t usually see you first thing in the morning when I get to school.” She said as she began to walk towards her homeroom.

“I was just saying hello... Plus I wanted to see if your hangover had gone away.”

“I’m fine, much better than I was the other night...” Hilary said as she looked around. “Um, can you not tell the others about my.... inability to keep my alcohol down on Friday night?” The last thing she wanted was Tyson going on about how he wasn’t invited to go drinking or that he didn’t get to see her vomit or the fact that Tala was in her hotel room, _alone_. “Or that...um you went into my room? The others will... get... weird and try and defend my honor or something and you know how Tyson is.”

Tala laughed. “Okay, I guess I won’t tell anyone about how you vomited into your own bathroom sink or that I had to shower you and make sure you got into bed like a good little girl...” Hilary stopped in the middle of the corridor. She could feel her face was burning from embarrassment from the fact that she actually did vomit her stomach contents up in front of him. At least he wasn’t mentioning the activities beforehand. “Are you okay?” He asked, turning around and walking back to where she had stopped. “Or would you like me to tell them about the sounds you made in the elevator... How you pulled me closer to you... or the fact that until your stomach no longer agreed with the alcohol, you weren’t willing to stop what was happening?” He was dangerously close to her ear, his voice was the same as Friday, low and husky, and that sent a shiver down her spine and made the lower half of her body... Tala moved backwards a little so Hilary could see his face. Hilary stared at him. Her mouth had gone dry. Tala was extremely good looking, he was on the same level as Kai, and she wasn’t the only one who thought that either.

Hilary licked her lips. What the hell was going on...? “I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell them.” She said in a small voice.

Tala returned to his full height and smirked. “I guess I should let you go before the bell goes.” He said, giving her a wink and walking away.

Hilary stared at his retreating back. That was... the most intense... whatever it was she had ever experienced. Hilary lifted her hands to her boiling hot cheeks, lifting them straight off as her cold hands stung against the warm cheeks. Tala was dangerous.

/

Thank god it was lunchtime. Algebra, French and English had gone on with no end in sight until finally the bell rang signifying fourth period. Hilary quickly went to her locker and pulled out her afternoon classes books and then she stopped. She could feel someone behind her and she prayed it wasn’t Tala. Tala was in her English class and he had spent the entire lesson, sitting next to her, with his knee constantly next to hers, not saying one word. It had almost driven her up the wall. Hilary closed her locker and turned around. It wasn’t Tala... it was Megan and her two friends. “Hi...?” Hilary felt slightly scared.

Megan smiled at her. “Hi, I was wondering if you would join us at our table for lunch.” She said in a overly-sweet voice.

Hilary raised her eyebrow in suspicion. What was up with the world today? “Um, are you...sure?” She asked as she looked at the two smiley friends.

“Of course!” Megan said, nodding her head up and down, which her two friends behind her mimicked. “This is Rachel and Emma.” She said.

Hilary smiled at the two girls. “Hi.” She said before Megan grabbed her by the elbow and linked hers with Hilary. Hilary looked down at the linked elbows as Megan dragged her down the corridor towards the cafeteria.

“You know, I’m sorry if I seemed a little mean when we first met... I’m just a naturally defensive person.” Megan said as they walked into the cafeteria. Hilary looked over at her normal table, where all the boys were eating. She hoped that Tyson or Max would flag her down to come and sit with them but they were preoccupied with whatever they were doing. “But I decided that you seemed like a very cool person to be friends with.” Megan said as they joined the line to grab food. Megan looked at her and gave her another white-teethed smile. “Plus, any friend’s of Kai’s is a friend of mine!”

Hilary felt her stomach drop a little. _‘Any friend of Kai’s is a friend of mine’._ Hilary stared at the back of Megan’s straight light brown hair as she followed her, grabbing a tray and putting a salad and water on it. Hilary couldn’t bear to stomach anything else after watching Tyson and Max make rather disgusting observations of the other food last week. Hilary didn’t have one clue why she was following Megan to a table or why she would even accept her invitation to eat lunch with her and her two friends. The only female friend she had ever really had was Mariah and Hilary sometimes felt out of her league. Girls were bitchy, had a penchant for backstabbing, spreading lies and gossip and if Mean Girls was anything to go by, envisioning attacking your enemies like animals in the safari. Hilary was first to admit she wasn’t a “girly girl” or anything close. She no patience for gossip or cliques, it seemed all too tiring and much too effort to get worked up over. Hilary sat opposite Megan at the table with Rachel sitting right next to Hilary. Hilary opened her water and took a sip. What were they going to talk about? Hilary hoped it wasn’t going to be about Kai or Tala or any of the boys she was friends with.

“Are you enjoying Moscow?” Emma asked.

Hilary nodded as she swallowed a mouth full of lettuce. “It’s taking some time to get used too...”

“I am totally jealous of you!” Rachel said to Hilary, leaning close. “Your friends with all those boys, travelling the world with them... staying in hotels with them...”

“It gets old pretty quick. Those boys aren’t exactly the funniest to travel with sometimes.” Hilary looked around the table. Megan was typing away on her phone with a huge smug smile on her face.

“Is Rei single?” Emma asked in a hushed tone, leaning across the table.

“He’s got a girlfriend.” Hilary said, vowing to never tell Mariah that someone actually asked that question. The last thing she wanted was Mariah asking a million questions about how Emma asked the question, what was her face like and many other blah questions. “She’s back in China.” Hilary stared at Emma’s wicked look in her eyes. Maybe Mariah should come for the second semester after all... the look in Emma’s eyes made Hilary think that maybe she watch out for Rei.

“Have they been together for a while?”

Hilary frowned. “Almost two years.” She said. Maybe she should warn Rei to stay away from Emma. Hilary watched Emma raise her eyebrow as she returned to her lunch. Hilary watched Megan put down her phone and lent in towards Hilary.

“So... you and Tala?” She asked.

Hilary felt her cheeks go warm. No, this is the last thing she wanted to talk about and especially to these girls. Hilary shook her head. “No.” Hilary didn’t care if she sounded rude. “Nothing is going on there.”

Megan raised her eyebrow. “Really?” She asked. “So, I didn’t see you two leave together on Friday night?”

Hilary froze. Megan saw her leave with Tala on Friday night? Did that mean that Kai saw them leave too? Kai and Megan weren’t together at that stage? Oh my god. Hilary wanted to run out of the cafeteria and all the way back to her hotel room and lock herself in there until the last day of school. “He just walked me home to make sure I got there safely.”

“Isn’t that sweet?” Rachel said. “I don’t know any other boys who would do that...”

/

As Hilary approached her locker for the third time that day, she prayed that no one would greet her this time. She was officially over today. She wanted to go home and take a long, hot shower and then sleep and hopefully sleep for forever. Hilary was eternally grateful that the only person she saw that she knew in her afternoon classes was Rei, who could probably tell by her mood that she wasn’t doing too well. Hilary didn’t tell him that Emma was probably going to be hanging around him a lot, trying to plot a break up between him and Mariah. She just wasn’t in the mood for anymore drama. Hilary knew Megan was baiting her to slip up about anything about Friday. Megan had been dangling Friday night’s events right in front of her. Hilary wasn’t stupid or naive about what two teenagers of the opposite sex would do at a party if they went upstairs...  even if she was a virgin. Perhaps Kai liked girls who had done...it before. Kai could like boys for all she knew. Hilary spun the dial on her locker and stared at her messy locker and yawned. She pulled out the books she needed and pulled on her jacket and gloves shut her locker and turned around, ready to leave, only to see Kai and Megan walking down the corridor. Megan was talking to Kai while Kai walked along next to her, his normal expression unwavering as Megan kept talking. Hilary watched them as they passed by Hilary. Hilary knew right then and there that Kai would never have feelings for her. Megan was what he wanted. Popular, perfect, happy, all things Hilary weren’t. Hilary sniffed. There was no point of getting upset of reality. She pulled out her iPod and put in her headphones as she walked down the corridor. As Coldplay’s _Warning Sign_ played, Hilary left the school, staring at the ground as she walked. Why was she so sad? Kai probably knew how she felt but boo hoo he didn’t feel the same way. Tomorrow, she would wake up, fresh, her feelings for Kai, non-existent. Yes. That sounded like a good plan. The best plan would be to forget and move on. Unrequited love was overrated anyways _. A warning sign, It came back to haunt me, and I realized, that you were an island and I passed you by, and you were an island to discover._ Hilary stopped and pressed next. That song was way too... Nope, Lil Wayne would be a much better fit than the calming voice of Chris Martin right now.


	6. Six

Hilary would be the first to admit that lying face down on her hotel room floor, with her knees tucked underneath her chin wasn’t the most attractive position one could be found in but right now it was the only thing that caused those damn pesky cramps to fuck off. Hilary was about to go insane. She needed relief from the pain soon or she was about to go insane. She would have gone to the nearest chemist if she could actually move but she felt too nauseated, too much pain and the fact she could barely stand without her head spinning around crazy, but no. Her body had given up and decided that it officially hated her.  And that’s how she ended up face first into the carpet looking like she was in some weird yoga position. Coming home Monday afternoon and finding out your body decided that it was totally the right time to let her monthly visitor arrive had been the last straw in Hilary’s book. She hadn’t gone to school because she was far too strung out and emotional and no, she would not have a hormonal induced meltdown at school after finding out what had happened yesterday. There was a knock at her door. Hilary froze. Hilary wished that the person would leave. She wanted no visitors at the moment. There was another knock at the door. Hilary sighed loudly and pushed herself up. It wasn’t her fault that she was cranky mood and that this unsuspecting person was about to get a terse ‘ _fuck you!’_ shouted at them. Hilary opened the door. It was Rei and Hilary straight away calmed. There was no way she could say fuck you to Rei, especially when he hadn’t done anything wrong. “Hi.”

Rei smiled. “Hi.” He said. “Mariah told me that you could do with a few things...” He said as he lifted up a plastic shopping bag.

“Um, thanks.” Hilary said as she took the bag, taking a peek inside.  Pain killers, several blocks of chocolate and rocky road ice-cream. Hilary wrapped her arms around Rei and gave him a hug. “You are the best!” She said as she let him go. Mariah had really snagged a good one.

“There is something I wanted to ask you...”

Hilary stared at him. Had Mariah told him that she had feelings for Kai? Had Mariah told him about last Friday night? “Yeah?” She asked as calmly as she could.

Rei shifted. “Are you okay?” Hilary frowned. Was he talking about...? “I... Uh... Mariah didn’t tell my anything, I kind of, gathered it on my own, but I know you have feelings for Kai... and I was wondering how you were doing after finding out that he and uh, that Megan girl are you know... going out.”

Hilary bit her lip in an attempt to _not_ cry in front of Rei, even though he would never ever tell a soul. Hilary shook her head. “I’m fine.” She said quietly. “But thank you, for asking.”

Rei nodded slowly, shifting again. “You know, I’m always here if you want to talk. I promise I won’t even tell Mariah.”

Hilary laughed. “I miss her so much.”

Rei looked sad. “I do too.” He said. “She’s trying to convince her parents to let her come here after Christmas for the second break.”

“She said that, I hope they let her.” Hilary was more than prepared to go to her grandfather and ask him to borrow money if Mariah’s parents said no.

“Well, you know Mariah; she will badger them into it, one way or another.” Rei said, chuckling. “I better go. I’ll see you later.”

“Thanks so much again. Bye!” Rei walked away and Hilary shut her door, leaning against it. Hilary never wanted to go to school again. Then she wouldn’t have to see Kai and Megan together, being all... Hilary pushed off the door. There was no way she was going to let it bother her.

/

Unlike Monday, Friday did not start off with Tala at her locker. Instead, it was Emma who was standing there waiting. Hilary inwardly groaned as she approached, pulling her headphones out of her ears. She did not like the idea of Emma waiting around her locker.

“Hi! You’re back!” Emma greeted her cheerily.

Hilary narrowed her eyes. Something was up. “Hey...” Hilary said as she opened up her locker. “What’s up?” Hilary asked as she searched for her biology textbook.

Emma clapped her hands. Oh no. “Megan’s father and her step-mother are going away on the weekend to Paris or something and she’s having a get-together on Saturday night and she asked me to let you know that you’re invited!”

Hilary paused before taking out her AP English notebook out. She was invited to a popular kid’s party? Had she woken up in the right reality this morning? “Um, okay.” Hilary said as she checked her backpack that her World History notebook was in there. “I can go.” Hilary closed her locker and turned to Emma who had a huge smile. Hilary had no idea what she was doing.

“Oh my god! That is so great! Megan’s dad is like, totally loaded and they have a Jacuzzi in their sun-room and oh it’s going to be mad as!” Emma said.

Hilary nodded. “That sounds so cool.” She said, smiling at Emma who returned the smile. “I have to get... going... so, um, I’ll see you later?”

“Yes! Remember, you’re eating lunch with us!”

Hilary took off towards her homeroom. It suddenly felt like she was in some kind of warped version of _Mean Girls_. Hilary couldn’t walk fast enough to homeroom. She didn’t want to run into anyone else. She definitely needed to stop watching _Mean Girls_ though.

/

Hilary looked around the table. If it was possible, the day had gotten even weirder. First, in third period during world history, Rachel sat next to her and began chatting to her as if they had been friends for years. Hilary had then temporarily freaked out that English was next, and that she would have to be alone with Tala but her worries went away as Tala never even turned up. And now, the lunch table was full. She had walked in the cafeteria to find that Megan, Rachel and Emma were all sitting with the boys. Megan was literally almost on Kai’s lap, which made Hilary almost decide not to go over there. Emma was sitting oddly close to Rei. She would definitely have to keep an eye on that one. Hilary had ended up opposite Kai and Megan, right next to Tala who ignoring her. Hilary pushed her lunch around. She could not eat in front of these people, oh god what was Tyson doing to his lunch?! Hilary was just glad that her afternoon classes were kind of easy. Study hall for last period on a Friday? Hilary guessed that she had scored the jackpot of timetable scheduling.

“Tyson, stop playing with your food! That’s disgusting!” Kenny shrieked.

Tyson laughed. “Oh come on Kenny, it’s not worth eating, I mean look at it!”

Hilary looked over at Tyson’s tray again and then back to her own. Oh no, she definitely was not eating that... She would wait until school finished and get some McDonald’s on the way home. Hilary smiled as she thought of chicken nuggets, oh and perhaps a McChicken or a double cheeseburger... Hilary couldn’t wait. “Tyson, leave Kenny alone.” She said.

“Aw, Hilary!” Tyson whined. Perhaps she could excuse herself quietly and escape the scene in front of her. If she didn’t know any better, she would think that Megan was purposely dangling herself all over Kai. What did she care anyways? What had she said the other day? No more getting upset over something she never had in the beginning. She did not care. Hilary stiffened as she felt a hand place itself on her thigh, just above her knee. What the fuck was Tala _doing?!_ Hilary bit the inside of her lip as his hand; she hoped it was his hand, inched a little bit higher. Hilary wanted to turn around and slap him straight across the face but that would require making a scene that would then turn into a whole bunch of questions of why he was even trying to move his hand up her leg in the first place. Hilary bolted up onto her feet. She could not take anymore of sitting there watching them and Tala’s hand on her thigh.

“I... I need to go!” Hilary said awkwardly as she realized everyone at the table was staring at her. Hilary rushed away from the table, ignoring their questioning looks. Holy moly. She needed something to calm her nerves.

/

After three lonely and quiet periods, Hilary felt much calmer. She was also starving and had decided that McDonald's was the cure. Hilary felt as if she could eat the entire menu and that she was regretting not eating anything at lunch. Hilary turned the corner and groaned. Tala was standing against her locker, on his phone. He was definitely waiting for her but why? “Yes?” She asked as she walked up to her locker.

Tala smirked and put his phone in his pocket. “What you doing?” He asked, moving to the next locker and leant against it.

Hilary raised her eyebrow as she spun the dial to her locker and opened it. “Nothing, going back to the hotel.” Hilary closed her locker after pulling her jacket. “Why?”

Tala leaned in close. “You didn’t eat anything at lunch...”

Hilary licked her lips. Why did he always have to stand so bloody close? “So?”

Tala’s eyebrows narrowed. “You have to take care of yourself.”

Hilary stared at him. Hilary swore she hung out with the weirdest people on the planet. “I’m fine; it’s not the first time that I haven’t eaten lunch.” Hilary felt her stomach grumble loudly.

Tala lent back to his full height, smiling. “Someone’s hungry.” He said, tapping her nose with his index finger.

Hilary swatted his finger away. How fucking embarrassing! “I was going to get something on my way anyways!” She said angrily as she stalked down the corridor. Hilary wished she had brought her gloves as she made her way outside. It was freezing, even colder than it had been in the morning. Hilary thought about what she was going to do over the weekend. Hm, probably her biology and algebra homework, reading that text for social sciences, probably catch up on all her television shows, video chat with Mariah... oh yeah and she had been invited to that stupid party. Hilary turned around at the sound of someone following her, stumbling over her own feet. Luckily she didn’t land on her ass thanks to Tala who had grabbed her by the waist. “What are you doing following me?” She asked, pulling herself out of his grip.

“Saving you from embarrassing yourself?”

“Thanks.” Hilary said, flattening out her skirt. “Plus stop following me.”

Tala chuckled. “Don’t flatter yourself, I live this way too.”

Hilary shook her head. “Whatever.” She said as she turned around only to be stopped by a hand on her wrist. Hilary froze. Tala was standing right behind her, backpack was squished between them. Tala really had a poor understanding of the meaning of _personal space_. Hilary thought she should perhaps remind him of the meaning. “What are you doing?”

“Even if I was following you... would you have minded?” Tala whispered, his lips brushing against her ear softly. Hilary trembled slightly as one of Tala’s fingers began to trace the skin of the inside of her wrist. Hilary licked her lips. Perhaps ridding her mind of Kai could be a good thing but was Tala actually interested in her? Hilary’s stomach growled loudly again. Tala chuckled. “Let’s go get you something to eat.” Tala released her wrist and Hilary found her hand holding one of Tala’s and he was walking them down the street. “What were you going to get to eat?” He asked as they waited for a set of lights.

“McDonald's...” Hilary said slowly. Hilary had had an odd seven days and this afternoon was just adding to the list of weird occurrences. “Look, you don’t have to come with me.”

Tala looked down at her and smiled. Hilary felt butterflies in her stomach. He had a beautiful smile to go with his handsome face. “I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t want too.” Hilary stared up at him as they crossed the road. The tone in his voice reminded her of when he told her that he _had_ to walk her home as “it was his manly duty” last week. Hilary realized she didn’t know a whole lot about him except that he was from Russia, was best friends with Kai and... Well, she didn’t have a third fact about Tala. Yet. Hilary looked down at their hands. She had never held hands before with anyone. Tala’s hands were large, with thin long fingers and Hilary had to admit, they were kind of girly.

“What?” She asked, looking up at Tala who was staring at her with a bemused expression.

“I asked, what do you want?”

Hilary blinked and looked around. They were at the counter of the nearest McDonald’s to her hotel. “Um... nuggets. Large meal. A diet coke and a double cheeseburger without pickles and onion.” Tala raised his left eyebrow before turning to the server. Hilary was kind of glad he ordered for her. The language barrier was still a problem and she kept referring to her phrasebook too much for her liking. Sure she could speak French quite easy but that was because she had been taking it for four years. Hilary looked around and decided to pick a table and sat down and dropped her backpack on the ground next to her feet. At least Hilary didn’t order a McChicken as well. That would probably make Tala compare her to Tyson and his bottomless pit of a stomach. A tray packed with food was placed in front of her and Tala sat in the seat across from her. “Thank you.” Hilary said as she pushed a straw into her drink. “How much?”

Tala began unwrapping his burger and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

Hilary felt herself blush. “Thanks.” She said in a softer voice. “Is it normally this cold at this time of the year?”

“No not really but you know, global warming and shit is probably influencing it.”

Hilary nodded. Damn these were good nuggets. She wished she had told Tala she wanted the twenty pack. “I guess it will be snowing soon.” Hilary looked out the window. Outside was almost dark already and it wasn’t even four thirty yet. Hilary wondered if by December she would be walking to and from school in darkness. Hilary sighed.

“What’s wrong?”

Hilary looked up. “Nothing’s wrong.” She said.

“It’s that Megan girl isn’t it?”

 _Yes!_ Hilary wanted to say. “No.” She said.

“You’re a bad liar.”

“Well, you have no understanding of the meaning personal space!” Hilary said a little too loudly. Tala looked at her blankly. Well, she had just had to go and put her foot in her mouth, didn’t she? “I’m sorry.”

“Its fine, I’ll keep to a distance that you find comfortable.”

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

Tala gave her a look. “Then what do you mean?”

Hilary huffed. What the hell did she mean? “I... I...I’m not used to... someone paying attention to me.” Hilary stared down at the almost empty tray. “Last week... was the first time anyone had ever done that to me.”

“I was the first person you ever kissed?”

“No!” Hilary said. “The other kisses were just... stupid little kid ones... I meant...” Hilary shut her mouth. She was stopping herself right now. She was pretty sure her face was bright red and that it was time she left before she embarrassed herself anymore. “I should go.” She said, standing up.

“No, don’t.” Tala said, grabbing her arm. “I find it adorable when you’re all flustered.”

Hilary sat back down in her chair. “Why?”

Tala shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know why, I just do.” Hilary swallowed. “I don’t trust Megan.”

“Either do I. Or Emma.”

Tala laughed. “It’s a bit obvious she has a thing for your pal Rei.”

“Wait until Mariah finds out, Emma won’t come near Rei with a ten foot pole.” They laughed together. “Are you going tomorrow night?”

“Yeah, I got nothing else better to do.”

Hilary nodded. “I guess I might go...” Hilary didn’t really want to go but she felt like it was some kind of test. How much could she stand to be around Megan and Kai before it drove her up the wall and proved some kind insane theory in Megan’s head?

“Do you want me to get you some alcohol? I’m guessing you might need it though after last week, I’ll be making sure you don’t puke everywhere again.”

Hilary slammed her empty cup on the tray. “Do not remind me!” Hilary was just thankful that he actually had taken care of her and kept it from everyone else. Though she would never live it down. “Um, I’ll have whatever. I’ll pay you back of course.”

“Okay, you’re not allergic to anything are you?”

“Not anything that involves alcohol.”

Tala gave her a smile. “I’ll pick you up at eight thirty.”

Hilary nodded. “You remember what room I’m in?”

“Room 1812, floor eight.” He said. “I just hope your room still doesn’t smell like vomit.”

/

Hilary flopped back onto her bed. Ah, the most perfect thing in the whole wide world. With its perfect pillow and its perfect comforter and its perfect well, the sheets were just boring old white sheets but hey, they were nice too. Hilary put in her ear buds and pressed ‘shuffle’ on her iPod. Ah, Kanye West’s _Flashing Lights._ Hilary closed her eyes and opened them instantly. No, she did not need to visualize the film clip to the song of the woman wearing lingerie and the shovel and well... murdering that guy in the boot of the car. She sometimes did not understand what went through artist’s heads when making their music videos. Hilary closed her eyes again, leaning into the super soft pillows, relishing that the housekeeper had come today and there were new, nice smelling pillowcases. Her Friday night had been rather boring. Mariah had left an email saying she wouldn’t be online as her mother was making her go to some family event so Hilary had done her homework and then sat there staring at her laptop screen until she decided it was probably best if she went to bed as she clearly wasn’t doing anything. All she had done was think about Tala, Kai, Tala, Kai, Kai and Megan, Megan and that annoying smug look she had on her face during lunch, Tala, Tala’s girly hands. Hilary wanted to text Tala and say forget about picking her up tomorrow night but Hilary decided she didn’t want to give Megan the satisfaction of getting to her. She would go and prove she was... Hilary had no idea what she would prove by going but she did want to spend more time with Tala. Hilary smiled into her pillow.

As she slept that night, she dreamed of red hair and girly hands.


	7. Seven

**HOLY LIKE WOW LIKE WOW LIKE HOLY JESUS WOW!**

_Dude, do you have to be so, like WOW! About it, it was just hand holding._

**BUT YOU DO REALIZE THAT YOU’VE NEVER HELD A BOYS HAND THAT’S BEEN INTERESTED IN YOU?!**

_I think your reaction is an over-reaction._

**HILARY, DO NOT REALIZE THAT I AM FAR AWAY AND CAN NOT HEAR THIS IN PERSON?!**

_Plus I never said he was actually interested in me! And either did he!_

**HILARY! IF YOU TELL ME THE SHIT THAT’S BEEN HAPPENING AND YOU THINK THAT TALA ISN’T “INTERESTED” THAN YOU ARE ONE DENSE BITCH!**

_I’m not really in the mood to do this and plus, I originally asked you to help me pick out an outfit that doesn’t make me a total loser, so are you going to do that?_

**Did you take your lace dress? The one with the long sleeves, the purple one, the one I really like?**

_Yes. I’ll wear it with my boots._

**NO! YOU ARE NOT WEARING BOOTS! I DON’T CARE IF THEY ARE YOUR FAVORITE! NO NO NO!**

_Fine! What would you like me to wear???_

**Flats. Please tell me you at least brought one black pair. Otherwise you can find a shoe shop that will sell you some.**

_Yes, I’m wearing stockings with it then. It’s going to be fucking freezing._

**Now, hair. Make sure it’s clean. Maybe you could attempt some kind of waves or something. You did take your straightener with you right?**

_That sounds hard. I might just stick to washing it and making sure it’s brushed. I think that if I do anything else to it, I will fuck it up._

**Fine, you should probably shave your legs too.**

_Why? I’m going to be wearing stockings?_

**What if someone takes them off? ;)**

_WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN DID I HINT THAT SOMEONE WOULD BE TAKING THEM OFF???!!!!_

**What if you and Tala start getting... busy? And he takes them off and there is a freaking forest on your legs? NO! YOU DO NOT WANT HIM THINKING YOUR SOME KIND OF WEIRDO FREAK WHO DOESN’T SHAVE THEIR LEGS!**

_Fine, I’ll shave them too. Anything else?_

**You have had a bikini wax before right?**

_OMFG MARIAH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU OH MY GOD WHY ON GODS EARTH WHY?_

**I’m just saying, you don’t want a forest down their either... you don’t have to take it all off!**

_Please, just stop talking._

/

“I thought it was meant to be a small gathering...?” Hilary asked, looking up between Kai and Tala. They had just arrived at Megan’s... well, it looked like she lived in a mansion, and there was no way that could be classed as a house. Hilary followed the two boys towards the front door. Kai seemed to know where he was going which made Hilary grip the side of her dress in frustration.  Hilary stared at Tala as he walked in front of her. He was much taller than her and very pale and... Hilary tripped on the stair as she stared down at Tala’s long legs. “Fuck!” Hilary landed on her knees and palms. Fuck a motherfucker that fucking hurt.

“Are you okay?”

Hilary looked up. Tala was crouching down next to her. He grabbed her hands, turning them over to check them. “I need to pay attention better.” She said as Tala brushed her palms off. Hilary looked around. Kai was gone. Tala helped her up.

“You would think you’ve already started drinking.” He said, he dropped her left hand but kept her right hand in his. Hilary stared down at their conjoined hands. Maybe she was reading into this way too much. Yes, she was definitely being silly. She was acting like she was 12. She followed Tala inside. Hilary looked around. Megan definitely had a nice house, scratch that, mansion. Megan reminded her of those rich kids out of _The O.C_ , with their perfect clothes and their perfect mansions. Hilary recognized several people she had classes with and even people from the grades below.

“Hilary?”

Hilary turned around. “Rei? What are you doing here?” She shouted to be heard over the music. Someone had turned it up as _Started from the Bottom_ came over the speakers.

“I got a message on _Facebook_. Thought it might worth checking out.” He said giving her a odd look. “What are you doing here? I thought parties weren’t really your thing.”

“I was invited on Friday by Megan. It’s her party.”

Rei frowned. “That bitchy brunette whose permanently stuck to Kai?”

Tala snorted. “Yeah, that one.” He said, looking around. “I wonder where he went... he has our drinks.” He tapped Hilary’s shoulder. “You two stay right here, I’ll go get them.” He said.

Hilary watched him walk into another room. She could feel Rei’s stare. “What?” She asked turning around back to him.

Rei smiled as he saw nothing. “He’s not... I guess Mariah was right.”

Hilary stared at him before raising her eyebrows. Oh god she hoped Mariah hadn’t told Rei anything but it looks like that wasn’t true. “Right about what?” She asked through gritted teeth.

Rei shrugged his shoulders. “Not telling.” He said, laughing.

When Hilary got home, she was going to send Mariah a email or a Skype message or a Facebook message or whatever she clicked on first demanding that she tell Hilary everything that she had told Rei. “Don’t you tell anyone, okay? I have no idea what is going on and until I do, please keep it quite.” She said, crossing her arms over her chest. “Damn Mariah...”

“I will keep quite because you’re my friend. And I respect that you want too.” He said. “I just hope you are happy.”

“It changes nothing about my feelings about... him.” Hilary looked around. She could see Emma in the distance. “Oh god...”

“What’s wrong?”

“Your groupie is on her way over.” Rei groaned. Obviously he had worked out that Emma seemed to have a weird obsession crush on him. Hilary didn’t know yet if it was harmless or not. Sometimes it did but then sometimes Emma seemed to be a little too friendly.

“Hi guys!” She greeted them both before giving Rei a bigger smile than the one she had given Hilary. “Are you having a good time?”

“I just got here. I’m waiting for Tala to return with drinks.”

“So you two are really together?” Emma asked. Hilary went to open her mouth. “Cause I saw you two walking together and you guys look so cute!”

Hilary wanted to crawl into a ball and just block any sounds that came out of Emma’s mouth. Emma stared at Hilary, waiting for a response. Hilary could feel Rei’s eyes on her too, waiting for a response as well. What was she going to say? Hilary had the urge just too just scream ‘STAY OUT OF IT’ to Emma. Over Emma’s shoulders, she could see Tala coming back towards them with Kai, Megan and Rachael following them. Just great. “Yes, we’re kind of together.” She said as the others joined them.

“Oh my god!” Emma squealed. “You guys will be such a cute couple!”

Tala looked down at Hilary with questioning eyes. Hilary shrugged her shoulders, looking back up at him. She resisted the urge to look over at the faces of Kai and Megan. “Here, this is for you.” He said, passing her a can of Smirnoff double black vodka. He reached around Hilary and passed another can.

Hilary opened her can and took a sip. She looked over at Megan. Megan was wearing a low-cut tight gold dress that didn’t leave much to the imagination. Her dress looked expensive. Hilary looked down at her feet. Gold high heels that put her almost at Rei’s height. Hilary felt like a little girl in her purple lace dress and flats while Megan could pass off as eighteen and older. “You have a nice house.” She said to Megan.

“Thanks. I like your dress.” She said.

Hilary took another sip of her drink. Do not think of Regina George Hilary told herself. Ew, she did not want to be Lindsay Lohan in this situation. “Thanks.” She definitely needed to stop comparing real life to _Mean Girls_. Hilary took another sip. She couldn’t help it. _Mean Girls_ was a fabulous movie. And it was really easy to quote.

“We should totally go in the Jacuzzi!” Hilary looked over at Rachael who had suggested it.

“Yes! And we should do shots!” Emma yelled.

“Yes! Shots!” Tyson yelled from behind Rei. Hilary did a double take. When did Tyson and Max get there. “Hey guys!”

“Hi Tyson.” Rachael said, giving him a small smile. Hilary looked between Rachael and Tyson. Hilary took another sip of her drink.

“Hey Hilary!” Max called from next Tyson. “We brought tequila!”

Hilary wanted to say ‘no no no’ at that sentence. Tyson and Max should’ve been banned from the stuff. They usually shot the entire bottle and then spent the next morning throwing it all up but Hilary looked around the group of people that were around it. Fuck it. “Let’s crack it open!” She replied with raising her empty hand in the air.

“Fuck yes!” Tyson shouted. “We need shot glasses!” He said to Megan.

“Rach, take them to day room. I’ll get the glasses.” She said. “You want to help me, Hilary?”

Hilary finished the rest of her can off. “Alright.” She said, following Megan through the crowded hallway into a large, white, almost blinding kitchen. “Wow...” Hilary said as she placed her can on the over-flowing counter. “Aren’t your parents going to notice that you had a party?”

Megan shrugged her shoulders as she opened a drawer. “I don’t really care.” She said. “I’ll make sure they don’t notice anything.” She passed Hilary a package of plastic shot glasses. “So, you and Tala? That’s really happening?”

“I don’t know.” She said. “Maybe, I don’t really have a clue.” Hilary followed her back out of the kitchen down the hallway. Megan stopped at a cupboard. “So, you and Kai?”

Megan opened the cupboard door. “He’s... hot but he’s kind of weird.” She said as she pulled towels out. “I mean, he doesn’t really talk much. He’s more... psychical.”

Hilary looked away. It sounded all very Kai... though... she didn’t want to know how ‘psychical’ he was with her. “He’s always been a quite person.” She said.

Megan closed the cupboard. “Really? I see him talking with Tala all the time and then we’re alone and it’s like... nothing.”

Hilary felt uncomfortable. “Tala’s probably the only person he trusts. I wouldn’t take it very personally.” Hilary said. “It’s just how he is.”

Megan stopped. “I’m gonna kick everyone else out.” She said, passing Hilary the large pile of towels. “The day room is the last room at the end of the hall.” Megan said.

Hilary couldn’t see in front of her. The towels were piled so high they blocked everything. Hilary walked slowly down the hallway. She could hear the music being turned off and then Megan shouting at everyone to get out or she’d call the police. Hilary sighed. How could you tell someone, ‘no sorry, don’t want to hear about your sexual relationship with someone I’ve had feelings for years’ without sounding petty or jealous or both? Especially to someone like Megan, who would probably take that offensively and spread rumours around school that she had a crush on Kai and was trying to steal him away. “Um, guys? Can someone help me?” She called out. She heard splashing and someone that sounded a lot like Max, shouting. Hilary could finally see as someone took some of the towels off the pile. “Tyson, why don’t you have any clothes on?” She asked as Tyson dropped the towels near... piles of people’s clothes. She looked at Tyson, who was standing in front of her, half-naked in wet bright red boxer shorts as he took the plastic package of shot glasses off her.

“You think we were going in our clothes?” He asked as he opened the bottle of tequila.

Hilary stared at the Jacuzzi. It seemed as if everyone had stripped down to their underwear. Oh lord Jesus. “So, are we all like that?” She asked.

“Come in Hilary! It’s nice and warm!” Max called.

“Come on.” Megan said, arriving next to Hilary. She grabbed the bottom of her dress and pulled it off. Hilary stared at Megan’s... chest area. Apparently, she was going topless as well. Hilary looked at the Jacuzzi. Hilary looked over at the sound of music started playing.

“Hilary!”

“Come on!”

“Who wants a shot?” Tyson yelled the loudest.

Hilary reached behind and grabbed the zipper. Fuck it. She tugged down on the zipper. Someone whistled. “Take it off!” She heard Megan yell. Hilary wished Mariah was here. And that she could have more alcohol. Her dress dropped around her ankles. She stepped out of it and took off her flats and stockings. Here went nothing. Hilary hopped in between Rei and Tala who seemed to be staring at her breasts.

Tyson passed her a shot. “One for you.” He said. Hilary quickly downed it. Ugh, tequila tasted and felt like oil. Gross.

“Let’s play spin the bottle!” Emma said, holding up a half-empty bottle of Vodka. “I’ll go first!”

“I think there should be some rules, considering Rei has a girlfriend.” Max said. Megan shot him a look. “And... those two are together... so if they have a partner, a kiss on the cheek.”

“What if it’s two guys who have to kiss?” Tyson asked.

“Then pucker up, Tyson!” Tala said.

Tyson made a face at him. “Right back at you mate!”

“You’re gonna have to wait for your turn.” Max said as Emma spun the bottle. Hilary watched as the bottle landed on Max. Hilary watched as Emma looked a bit put out as she moved towards Max.

“You looked very nice in that dress.” Tala whispered in her ear. “But I do have to say you look better without it...” Hilary felt a shiver go down her spine. When Tala spoke to her in that low, husky voice, it did odd things to her. Hilary felt him move more towards her. Hilary watched as Max gave Emma a quick peck on the lips. Max spun and landed on Rachael. A few spins later, Tyson landed on Tala. “Come on Tyson; show me what you’ve got.”

Tyson stood up. “I will!” Hilary stared between the two boys. Were they really going to do it? Everyone was silent as Tyson and Tala stared at each other.

Tala smirked. “We don’t have all day.” He said. “Or are you chicken?”

Tyson growled and grabbed Tala by the back of the neck and pulled him towards him. Hilary held her breath. Oh my god, it was going to happen! Hilary watched as Tyson and Tala made out for a full thirty seconds. “See! I’m not a chicken!” Tyson said as he pulled away. Tala chuckled and leaned down and spun the bottle.

“Ooo! Hilary!” Hilary blinked and looked at the bottle. Oh... Hilary looked up at Tala who had turned around to her. Hilary stood up slowly. She remembered the last time Tala had kissed her. “Kiss her!” She heard Max shout from behind Tala. Tala leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. Hilary leaned up, stumbling a bit as her foot slipped, Tala grabbed her waist. She decided she liked kissing Tala a lot. Plus he had the softest hair. Eventually they parted. Hilary looked around. Everyone was staring at them.

“Oh wow.” Emma whispered.

“Ugh, that was so hot!” Rachael said as she took another sip out of her bottle of peach schnapps. Tala sat back down where he had been sitting. Hilary looked down at the bottle. Anyone but Kai or Megan. She would happily kiss Tala again. Hilary grabbed the bottle.

“Why don’t we play truth or dare?” Megan said, stopping Hilary. Hilary sat back down. Crisis adverted. “Remember the last time we played it?” She asked Emma and Rachael.

Emma and Rachael exploded into giggles. “I still get disapproving looks every time I go into Stockmann’s.” Rachael said.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have done what you did.” Megan said.

“What did she do?” Tyson asked.  

“No! Remember, whatever happens during truth or dare stays between whoever is playing!” Hilary had the feeling that it didn’t really, considering Rachael kept looking over at Megan, like she was expecting her to say what Rachael had done. “In that case, I get to go first.” She turned to Emma. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“You have to call Matthew and leave him a voicemail message telling him that you want to _Je tiens à vous sucer la bite._ ” Hilary froze. She knew she hated ‘truth or dare’

Emma went bright red. “Rachael! What? No! Come on!”

“Hey, you said dare, now get on it.”

Emma shot Rachael a dirty look before climbing out. She went over to where her clothes were and pulled out her phone. “I don’t even like him like that anymore.” She whined as she held up the phone to her ear. “What if he answers?”

Rachael stifled a giggle. “Then I guess you’ll have to tell him.”

Emma glared at Rachael. “I hate you so much.”

“Here.” Tala said as he passed Hilary another can.

“Thanks.” She said as she cracked it open.

Emma’s face dropped. It looked like that Michael guy had answered after all. “Hello?” Emma asked slowly. “I... _Je tiens à vous sucer la bit!”_ She shouted down the phone before hanging up and dropping her phone. “I can’t believe I did that! I hate you!”

“Hey, don’t hate me, hate the game!” Rachael called back. “Plus, you get to inflict damage on someone else.”

Emma skipped over and climbed back in. “I think we should all do another round of shots first!”

“Yes!” They all cheered. Everyone held out their shot glasses as Max filled them up. “Let’s get fucked up!” Tyson said before everyone down their shot. Hilary washed hers down with vodka. Ugh, she had the feeling the taste of tequila would haunt her and vowed that after tonight, she would never drink it again.

“Someone put something better on.” Megan said.

Rei stood up. “I’m gonna go.” He said. “I promised Mariah I would talk to her when she got home.”

Hilary looked up at him. “Have fun. Say hi to her for me.” Hilary prayed that Rei wouldn’t say anything to Mariah....

“I will.”

“Bye Rei!”

“Dude, we’re going out for dinner tomorrow night to that Italian restaurant down the road, you coming?” Tyson asked him.

Rei nodded as he pulled his clothes back on. “Sure, don’t go drinking too much now!”

“Ah... you’re so funny Rei!”

“Bye guys.”

Everyone turned around to Emma who looked like she was trying to not look upset. “Your go.” Rachael said.

“Fine, Tyson, truth or dare?”

Tyson looked at her. “Dare.” Hilary wasn’t surprised. Tyson was the kind of person would rather eat or do something absolutely disgusting than pick truth.

“I dare you to run the entire cul-de-sac.” Emma said. “Naked.”

“But it’s freezing outside!” Tyson yelled. “My balls will shrivel up!”

Emma shrugged her shoulders. “You picked dare! Don’t hate the player, hate the game!”

Tyson got out. “Fine.” Everyone got out and wrapped themselves in the towels as they followed Tyson outside, down to the edge of the driveway. Tyson turned and faced them. “I never back down from a challenge.” He said, grabbing the waistband of his boxers.

Hilary covered her eyes. “Is he gone?” She asked. To say it was fucking cold was an understatement. Hilary would’ve been surprised if she didn’t wake up in the morning with a cold.

“Yeah, but he’ll be back soon. You’d probably want to keep them closed.” He said. “Are you cold?”

Hilary nodded. “I t-think it-t was silly of u-us to come out-t here wet-t.” She said through chattering teeth. She felt arms being wrapped around her shoulders and something warm being pressed against her back. Hilary blushed. Hilary wondered if he liked or if this was a part of his ‘manly duty’ as well. Hilary leaned back.

“Yeah buddy! Dare complete!” She heard Tyson yell.

/

A couple of hours later, Hilary had finally returned to the hotel. Her clothes were wet, thanks to Tyson daring her to jump in fully-clothed after he had returned from his naked run. And she was pretty drunk. “I told you... you didn’t have to help me come here.” She slurred as she waited for the elevator.

Tala laughed. “Remember last time you said that?” He asked, guiding her into the open elevator doors. “You puked everywhere for a like an hour and I can’t have imagined what would’ve happened to you if I hadn’t been there.”

Hilary looked at him. “I would’ve been good.”

Tala pushed a strand of hair that was stuck on her face away. “What if you had choked on your vomit?”

Hilary stared at the wall. He did have a good point there. She turned and looked at him. “Why did you kiss me?” She asked. “Last time.”

Tala stared at her. Hilary wanted to look away. Tala was odd. He was nothing like her friends or Kai or any other boy she had ever had a crush on. “Because I wanted too.” He said. “Because I like you, Hilary.”

Hilary stared at him. “You like me?” She asked as she walked off the elevator. “Like, like like me? Or like me as a friend? Or...” Hilary leaned against the wall. “I need my key card.” She opened her purse up and looked for it. God, where was it? The last thing Hilary needed was a missing key card.

Tala took the purse out of her hands and pulled out her key card. “I don’t go around kissing people I consider my friend.” He said as he opened the door to Hilary’s room.

Hilary looked past him into her dark hotel room. “Do you want to stay tonight?” She asked softly as she walked past him, flicking the light switch on.

Tala closed the door behind him. “If I stay tonight...” He dropped her bag onto the counter. “I have something to ask beforehand.”

Hilary nodded. “Okay.” Tala was the only thing in the room that wasn’t spinning right now.

Tala walked over to her and leaned down so his mouth was level with her ear. Hilary shivered as she felt his breath tickle her ear. “Do you want to go out with me?”

Hilary smiled. She nodded slowly, any faster and it would make her sick. “Yes.” She replied.

Tala returned to full height. “Okay.” He said. “Let’s get you into something warm.” He looked around her room. “Are any of your clothes in the closet?”

Hilary unzipped her dress. Her clothes felt disgusting. She was pretty sure she would need a new pair of stockings as she would definitely have to throw these ones out. “Um, I’m not a very organized person.” She said as she pulled her stockings off.

“Will these do?” He held up the blue-shirt she had stolen from Tyson a couple of years ago and her long blue pajama pants.

Hilary nodded as she stood up. “Thanks. I’m just gonna get changed.” She said, grabbing them out of his hands. She quickly grabbed a clean pair of underwear from the freshly washed pile of clothes she seemed to, oh, she had totally forgotten to fold that all up. Whoops. Hilary closed the bathroom door behind her. Holy crap, she had a boyfriend. Hilary stared at her reflection. Mariah was going to lose her shit. Hilary pulled off the clammy dress and underwear. “Crap.” She whispered as she pulled on her clean clothes. What would the boys say? Kai wouldn’t even care. Tyson would probably say something either insulting or condescending. She, Hilary Tachibana, had a boyfriend. Hilary quickly brushed her teeth and went back out. She paused as she saw Tala was sitting up underneath the covers.

“Ready to go to sleep?” He asked.

Hilary nodded. “Yeah, I won’t vomit on you this time.” She said as she climbed in next to him.

“That’s good.” He said as he turned off the lights. “Because I didn’t know if you were vomiting from kissing me or because you had had too much to drink.”

Hilary groaned. “It’s so embarrassing that you saw me like that.” She said as she felt him move in closer behind her. Hilary closed her eyes.

She swore that as she felled asleep, she heard Tala say, “You have the best pillows...”


	8. Eight

Hilary glared at Tyson. She was going to kill that annoying, loud bastard as soon as they left the restaurant. Why she hadn’t killed him this morning after what he did, was beyond her comprehension and she would’ve sent him to the floor, crying and holding his balls but she was too preoccupied with the fact he had walked into _her_ bathroom while _she_ was showering, _naked_ , because Tala had opened the door to her hotel room, without a shirt on. Tyson glared at Tala, who was sitting next to her.

“Do I dare asked what happened?” Kenny asked.

“No.” Hilary and Tyson both snapped at the same time, glaring at each other.

Kenny squirmed in his chair. “Are you two fighting again?”

“Tyson needs to learn what boundaries are.” Hilary said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I was making sure you were okay!”

“I was in the shower! Naked! You could obviously hear the water running, why come in?”

“I was checking up on you! You drank a lot last night! How was I to know he would answer the door? With no shirt on too!” Tyson pointed at Tala.

“I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself!” Hilary said, leaning forward. “I know what I’m doing!”

Tyson snorted. “Looks like it.”

Hilary’s mouth dropped open. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She said.

“Take a guess.”

Hilary opened her mouth. That fucking asshole! “How about we calm down?” Rei said, looking between Hilary and Tyson. Hilary nodded slowly, leaning back in her chair. Hilary didn’t expect Tyson to handle anything with maturity or finesse. Hilary prayed that the night would go quick.

/

Later, Hilary opened _Google_ as she took a sip of her diet coke. She typed ‘how to be a girlfriend’ and pressed enter. She clicked on the first few results. What the hell was she doing? She could ask Mariah for some advice but she’d probably laugh at her and then go on about her sexual escapades with Rei, which Hilary so did not want to hear about. Hilary closed _Firefox_ and yawned. Why was she freaking out for? Tala had said that he did like her and she liked him. Hilary closed her laptop and got up. She quickly changed into her pj’s and climbed into her bed. Hilary stared up at the dark ceiling, The Smashing Pumpkin’s _Bullet with Butterfly Wings_ , playing in her ears. Damn Tyson. Why did he have to do what he did and ruin her happy mood? And Kai, what had been with his weird, angry staring. It was like he was angry at her and Tala for getting together. Hilary snorted. That was impossible.

/

A week later and Hilary was being to believe Kai was actually angry at her for something. The something, Hilary had no idea what, but Kai had actually turned around in the hallway and walked the other way, when he had seen her. Hilary was tempted to ask Tala if Kai had said if she had done something wrong but she doubted that Kai would tell him.

“Are you okay?”

Hilary looked up at the sound of Kenny’s question and the bell. “Yeah, why?”

Kenny shrugged. “You’ve kind of been distracted.” He said. “You kind of stopped taking notes... and zoned out.”

Hilary looked down at the notes she had been taking down. Oh shit. “Sorry.” She said. “I’m a bad lab partner.” She said. “Can I borrow yours? I’ll copy them and give them straight back.”

Kenny closed his notebook and handed it to her. “Of course. I know you’re not like Tyson, I’ll actually get them back.”

Hilary laughed as she piled her stuff into her backpack. “Tyson wouldn’t have asked to borrow them at all.” She said as she stood up.

“That’s right, Tyson would come over the night before a big exam and demand to photocopy my notes and then spend the remaining time until the exam panicking instead of studying.” Kenny said.

“Remember that time he faked a stomach bug just to buy 24 hours to study?” Hilary said, laughing.

Kenny smiled. “Have you spoken to him?” He asked.

Hilary shook her head. “He can apologize before I’ll talk to him again.”

“Hilary...”

Hilary looked away, down the hall. “I’m serious Kenny, I’m sick of him thinking that he can do stuff like...” Hilary paused at the sight of Kai exiting a classroom down the hall. She turned back to Kenny. “He can apologize, and I’m not going to badger it out of him this time.”

Kenny frowned. “I thought...” He said. “Never mind.”

“What? What did you think...?” Hilary asked.

Kenny shook his head. “I’ve got to go.” He said, dashing off.

Hilary turned around. There stood Kai, talking to Megan. It sounded like Kenny’s ‘I thought...’ had nothing to do with her and Tyson. Hilary cracked all her fingers and began walking towards her French classroom, past Megan and Kai. Hilary kept looking ahead as she walked past them. It was like Megan was relieved that she was now in a relationship, as if she was some kind of competition to Megan’s relationship to Kai. Hilary snorted at the thought as she turned down another corridor. Hilary stopped. Where the hell... oh shit, she had turned right instead of left. Hilary closed her eyes and sighed. Perhaps Kenny was right, that she was distracted. Hilary opened her eyes and turned around, her ankle slipping slightly, sending her to the ground, gasping in pain. “Fuck.” She said as screwed her face in pain.

“Are you okay?” A boy asked.

Hilary nodded. “Yeah.” She said. God her ass hurt. The boy held out his hand and Hilary grabbed it, hoisting herself up. She put pressure on her foot, causing her to bit her lip in pain, putting her weight on the boy accidentally. Oh fuck, her ankle hurt.

/

“This is embarrassing.” Hilary said.

Tala chuckled. “I could carry you over my shoulder if that’s what you want?” He asked.

Hilary frowned at him. “No thank you. I have lost any dignity like this.” She said. She had a sprained ankle and Tala had insisted helping her back to the hotel when she had told him that she was in the nurses’ office. She was probably giving everyone a free show of her underwear as Tala carried her.

“Are you going to be fine tomorrow?”

Hilary nodded. “Yeah, I should be all good.” She was going to the doctors tomorrow to make sure nothing was seriously damaged. Her ankle was almost as big as her neck and she couldn’t put any pressure on it at all. Hilary hated how clumsy she was sometimes. Though she was thankful her mother wasn’t here, like that time when she fell down the stairs in elementary school.

“You know, I can play hooky tomorrow...”

Hilary raised her eyebrow. “Don’t you have a physics exam tomorrow?” She asked.

Tala shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe...”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll take a taxi and I promise to limit the pressure I put on it.” She gave him a smile. “I promise.”

/

**Seriously? You turned around and you sprained your ankle? Like... I don’t even have words on how you managed that. At least you didn’t dislocate your knee again. I’m still trying to work out how you did that one. Isn’t that sweet that your BOYFRIEND carried you home? YOU’RE BOYFRIEND. YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IS IT WEIRD TO SAY YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND? IS IT WEIRD TO SEE YOUR FACEBOOK RELATIONSHIP STATUS SAYING: IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH TALA VALKOV??? BECAUSE I FIND IT EXTREMELY WEIRD LIKE, I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF A DREAM AFTER I’VE GOTTEN DRUNK! I’m not actually drunk if you are reading this and thinking that. I promise it. Plus, who am i going to drink with here? And on a Thursday night? Alright, I’ll Skype you tomorrow night after I Skype Rei...unless you’re going to be busy with your boyfriendddddddddddddddddddddd???**

/

Hilary stared at her ankle. Since when did it look like an eggplant? Hilary looked around at her various shoes that were tossed around her room. She didn’t know if she had shoes that would fit her foot without it being extremely painful. Hilary flopped backwards on her bed. Perhaps she should just cancel her appointment and wait a couple of days. Her ankle would eventually get better and then she wouldn’t have to go to the doctor. Hilary sighed and got up and hopped over to where pair of her flats was. She pulled them on slowly, cursing as she put too much pressure on her ankle, and grabbed her bag and left. Slowly. She had never walked as slow as she was right now. Mainly because when she dislocated her knee, she wore a brace and used crutches. Oh god, she hoped she didn’t have to use those bloody things again. She hadn’t known what armpit chafing was until then and she never wanted to experience it again. Hilary pressed the down button and leaned against the wall. How the hell was she out of breath? The elevator dinged and Hilary froze. She looked down at the ground and slowly stepped in. “Hi.” She said, leaning against the wall, lifting her sore ankle off the ground.

She watched as Kai looked at her ankle and back at the silver door. “Are you okay?” He asked.

Hilary raised her eyebrows in surprise. He actually spoke to her. “I’m fine.” She said. She gripped her bag tight as a surge of pain went though her ankle. Why wasn’t he at school? He was dressed in his school uniform. The elevator dinged and the doors opened and Hilary hobbled out. Thank god the lobby was practically empty so nobody had to see her walk funny. Hilary felt an arm wrap itself around her waist and she was lifted off her feet. “What the...?” She turned to her left to see Kai carrying her. “What are you doing?” She asked him.

“Helping?”

“Helping?” She repeated as he carried her outside. “Helping?” She wrenched herself out of his grip, landing hard on her sore ankle. Oh fuck she was going to pay for that later. “Thanks but I can handle it myself.” She said, blinking to hold back the tears that wanted to come out. God her ankle or foot or whatever it was in so much pain. “You... you don’t talk to me for a week and then suddenly want to help me?” Kai stared at her. “You’ve been avoiding me all week, not that you actually actively seeked out my company but at least you wouldn’t walk the other way when you saw me coming!” Hilary turned around and walked away, as fast as she could, despite the worst pain coming from her ankle. Fuck him. Hilary wiped her eyes. She wasn’t sure if she was crying about her ankle or something else.


	9. Nine

Hilary dropped the crutches onto the floor and collapsed onto her bed. She exhaled a large breath, then sniffed and then took another deep breath and exhaled again. With shaky hands she wiped her eyes, dragging them down her face. She blinked a few times before rolling over to face down on her comforter, crying. She was angry. And upset. But mostly angry, mainly at herself, for being her usual clumsy self and injuring herself that bad that she had to wear a stupid ankle brace for two weeks before she returned to the doctors and getting upset and lashing out at Kai about him avoiding her. Now he was most likely never going to talk to her again. Hilary rolled back over, wiping the tears off her face. Hilary reached above her head and grabbed a pillow and dropped it on her face. Fuck life right now.

/

"How is this meant to help?" Hilary asked as she squinted at the laptop screen.

"Shopping is a great way to deal with stress. And we can't really go to a mall since I'm not there and you're in crutches. So online shopping it is!" Mariah chirped through the tiny speakers. Even though there was 3,598 miles between them, Hilary may have googled it, Mariah was still bossy. And wanted to shop until she could shop no more. "Plus, you can buy nice panties for your new boyfriend!"

Hilary froze. "Uh... Do I really need too?" She asked as she clicked on a link that Mariah had sent her. "What's wrong with the ones I have now?"

Mariah stared at her through the small video window on the side. "Trust me; I know what I am doing." She said. Hilary groaned. Did she really think that a computer would hinder Mariah's bossy ways? "What's Tala's favorite color?"

Hilary shrugged her shoulders. "I have no idea." She said as continued browsing. "Why?"

"No reason." Mariah said lightly. Hilary narrowed her eyebrows. No reason, her ass. As much as she hated shopping, even though it was online, Hilary was glad Mariah was killing her boredom. She had spent all day cooped up inside, not able to do much movement. Even showering had been difficult, so difficult that she had given up after ten minutes trying to get her brace off and showered with her leg sticking out. "Since he's your boyfriend, and I'm your best friend, I don't think there is any harm of getting to know him better."

"You want to know what his favorite color is?"

"Yes I do."

"I don't know what Rei's favorite color is..."

"But you know what Kai's is..."

Hilary stared at laptop screen. "I think everyone on planet earth knows that Kai Hiwatari's favorite color is black considering everything he owns is black."

Mariah giggled. "So when is Tala coming over? It is Friday night after all..."

Hilary flipped her phone over. Tala had promised to come over after he finished hanging out with Kai. He hadn't given a time but promised to send a message when he was on his way. "Later."

"Aw, is he going to make you feel better?" Mariah winked at her.

"Does everything have to be about sex?" She asked. "I'm not ready...I don't even...I have no idea what I am doing."

"Do you think he knows what he's doing?"

Hilary paused. Had Tala dated other girls? Had he slept with a girl before? "I don't know." She said slowly. Half of her didn't want to know and the other half wanted to get it out of him the second he came over. She did have to admit that he did have a smoothness of things that pointed that he had been... Hilary sighed.

"What's wrong?" Mariah asked.

"Nothing."

"Okay, let's get back to business. Did you order those leopard print panties?"

Hilary groaned.

/

Hours later, Hilary was lying down on the tiny two seater couch, watching a old episode of Supernatural. Mariah had gone to bed, making sure that Hilary had ordered everything she had suggested and wiggling her eyebrows in a suggestive manor that caused Hilary to end the video chat while she was still talking. She had gotten a message from Tala, saying he was going to be over soon. Hilary had changed out of the grey sweatpants and baggy sweatshirt that she was ninety-nine percent sure belonged to Max into something more... nicer. Hilary was only day one into her two week sentence of wearing that blastered ankle brace and she wanted to take it off right now. Hilary watched as Dean and Castiel did their usual weird staring thing. She jumped as someone knocked on her door. Hilary paused the show and slowly stood up and hopped over to the door. "Who is it?" She asked.

"It's Tala."

Hilary opened the door slightly. "Oh no, you aren't allowed in." She said.

Tala leaned forward and pushed the door backwards. "And you miss, are going to be the one to stop me?" He asked, picking her up as he walked in.

"This is no way to treat a lady!" She said, giggling as he carried her over the tiny couch.

"Lady? I don't see no lady!" He said mockingly as he placed her carefully down. Hilary laughed. "What you watching?"

Hilary froze. "Uh... nothing... just something silly to occupy the time with."

Tala grabbed the remote and pressed play. He watched the television for a few moments. "Are they gay?" He turned to Hilary.

Hilary let out a chuckle. "No... Well, we don't really know. Castiel is an angel and Dean's...Dean." She said watching Tala watch the television screen. Supernatural was one of her favourite television shows and she, and many other people, believed Castiel and Dean belonged together. She hid her nerdy side because she didn't want people making fun of her. Would Tala think of her different? "I don't think anything will ever happen. The writers of the show said we're all crazy for thinking it."

Tala laughed, still watching the television. He pulled Hilary closer to him. Hilary felt her cheeks go warm. "I think that they totally have something for each other and I've watched five minutes of it." Hilary smiled. "So, what's this show about?"

"Well, this is season five but season one starts with Dean showing up in the middle of the night..."

/

October started badly. Not that Hilary was surprised. It began with her ankle brace coming off (good), weekly sessions of psychical therapy until the doctor gave the all clear (bad), Mariah getting the all clear to attend their school starting after the new year (good), homework piling on (bad), Kai still avoiding her (bad), Tala was still her boyfriend (good), Tyson had finally apologized thanks to some pestering by Max, Rei and Kenny (good) and Megan and Kai breaking up which Hilary didn't know what she should categorized that. She had (silently) celebrated that it happened but it made her feel more confused. Her feelings for Tala grew everyday and a part of her... she had no idea what why she still felt the way she did for Kai.

"Hilary?"

Hilary jumped at the sound of a voice behind her. She turned around it. It was just Rei. "You scared me!" She said, giving him a small smile.

"You were just standing there, staring at the books." He said slowly. "Do you need help?"

Hilary stared at him. "Um, I don't know." She said. What was she doing? She couldn't even remember why she was in the stacks. Her study hall class was using the library and she had been working on... her mind drew a blank.

"You don't know? Are you sure you're okay?" Rei asked, looking concerned.

Hilary nodded. "Yeah, just daydreaming!' She said, hurrying back to her table. Despite her break-up with Kai, Megan still spoke and hung out with Hilary. Hilary enjoyed the company but she always held her guard up. Megan was the kind of girl who would use anything against anyone if they stopped being friends. Hilary sat down next to Rachael who was hiding her phone behind her French textbook, giggling. "What's so funny?" She whispered.

Megan lent across. "Some boy she met at a party on the weekend is texting her." She said as she continued writing.

Rachael stopped giggling. "His name is Alexander and he's totally hot." She said.

Hilary nodded. "Are you guys going to go on a date or something?" She asked politely. Hilary didn't really know what to say. Or what she was meant to ask. She was used to conversations the type of conversations that Tyson and the boys would have, not ones about boys and clothes and gossip.

Rachael gave her a smile. "Maybe." She said, turning her attention back to her phone. "How are you and Tala?"

Hilary stared down at the open notebook in front of her. She had been working on her world history project. That's right... she had been looking for a book she needed information out of. "Good, I guess..."

"He's your first boyfriend, right?" Megan asked. Hilary looked up. Megan gave her a look. Hilary waited for some... hilarious comment. "Well, word of advice. Boys get bored easily." Hilary looked back down at her notebook. What kind of advice was that? Was that a suggestion that Tala was going to get bored if she didn't put out? Or was she referring to her break up with Kai? Had Kai gotten bored with Megan? Hilary gripped her pen. It just made her even more confused.

/

Oh.

God.

Hilary gripped her comforter as Tala bit her neck, sending electricity shooting up her spine. The plan had originally had been to study but as soon as they stepped into the elevator, Hilary knew very little studying as actually going to be done. Even as Tala kissed her, sending her head into dizzy spins, Megan's words kept repeating themselves. Hilary felt Tala's hands undo her school shirt's buttons. Hilary felt herself blush. Every make-out session was getting longer and longer and more intense. Did that mean something? Hilary squealed as Tala grabbed her by the waist and flipped their positions.

Tala chuckled. "How did you know purple is my favorite color?"

Hilary was confused. Then she looked down to where he was staring. Oh... "It is?" She asked as she watched him. "Well... they're not the only thing that's purple." She said without thinking. OH MY GOD! She felt her entire body go red.

"Oh really?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Oh god, why did she have to be so embarrassing?! "You are just too cute when you're all embarrassed!" He said, tickling her side.

"Hey! Stop!" She cried as he kept tickling. "Tala! Stop it!" Tala stopped tickling her but kept his hands planted on her waist. He had the warmest hands. It was like his body was on fire. Hilary climbed off his lap and lied down next to him. "I..." Boys get bored easily.

"Yeah?"

Hilary turned onto her side. Boys get bored easily. Hilary wanted to smack herself on the forehead. "I'm a virgin."

Tala stared at her. "And...?" He asked. "Am I meant to have a problem with that?"

Hilary still wanted to smack herself on the forehead. God, she was an idiot for letting Megan's words get to her. She was probably just jealous that Hilary had Tala and she didn't have anyone. "I...I don't know."

Tala laughed. "You're silly, you know that."

/


	10. Ten

Hilary stared at her locker. She felt like a zombie. She probably looked like one too. Did she even brush her hair this morning? Hilary ran her fingers through it. Ouch, there were knots. Hilary opened her locker and began pulling out her morning books. Hilary didn't even know if she had completed all her homework. God, she wished she had.

"Hey Hilary!"

Hilary turned around. Rachael was coming towards her. Rachael was too bad to hang out with. She wasn't like Megan or Emma, though Hilary didn't trust her as far as she could throw her. "Hey." She said, shutting her locker.

"Are you okay?" Rachael asked.

Hilary yawned. Oh god she was tired. All she wanted to do was go back and climb into bed and sleep for the next fifteen years. "Yeah, just tired." Hilary said as they began to walk down the hallway. "I didn't get much sleep. I spent most of the night finishing my French assignment."

Rachael groaned. "Don't even get me started. I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail."

Hilary rubbed her eyes. "I don't think I'll survive the year if I keep only having four hours of sleep a night thanks to homework."

"Me either. And I don't think I can handle any more late night outings. I don't care what Meg-." Hilary looked at Rachael whose cheeks went pink. "Nothing." Hilary knew Rachael was going to say something about Megan. Was Rachael scared that she was going to blab back to Megan? Hilary gave Rachael a small, awkward smile. "Well, I'll see you later." Rachael said, taking off down the hall fast.

Hilary stared at her retreating back. Would she ever make any friends here?

/

Hilary sat down next to Rachael. "Hey." She said, looking around. Why was the other world history class here too? Hilary noticed Tala and Kai sitting across the space at a different table. Tala winked at her. Hilary turned pink.

"Hey." Rachael said. "FYI, Madame Bonnaire is in a foul mood. Seven people in my class didn't hand in their assignments."

"Great." Hilary said. "The last thing I want." Madame Bonnaire was famous for her tempers and tantrums. So far, Hilary's class hadn't been on the receiving end of one. "I wonder why both classes are here."

"I heard that we will be doing an assignment together."

Ew. Hilary hated working with someone else to do assignments. She would end up doing all the work herself. Hilary looked back over at Tala. Though... she could end up with Tala... and that wouldn't be so bad.

"Alright, settle down!" Mrs Goldstein said loudly. "You're probably wondering why your here. For this unit, the two classes are going to be working together in a joint project. One student from each class will pair up with a student from the other class and do a presentation together on one of these topics." She held up a sheet of paper. "On Tuesdays and Thursdays, we will meet here, where you will work on the assignment with your partner." Hilary groaned on the inside. This sounded like so much work. Hilary looked at the other kids from the other class. She didn't know any of their names except for Tala and Kai's.

"And to make things easier, we picked the partners and there won't be any swapping." Mr Jackson, the other class's teacher, said. "When I call out your name, find a table with your project partner."

"Ew, this sounds so stupid!" Rachael said, looking around. "I don't like presentations."

Hilary nodded. She hated presentations. She hated public speaking, oral assignments; generally any kind of talking that was done before more than a bunch of people, who would be staring at her, judging her... oh Jesus. "Me too." She whispered to Rachael.

"Tala and Daniel." Hilary's head snapped up, she watched as Tala stood up and walked over to the other table area with a kid from her class. Damn.

"That sucks you won't be with your boyfriend." Rachael said. Hilary would be happy if she was partnered with anyone but Kai. They still hadn't spoken since that day where she half yelled at him. The world owed her some karmic justice.

"Hilary and Kai."

Hilary's eye twitched. What? What the hell? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? Did she hear Mr Jackson right? Hilary looked over at Kai who stared at her. Hilary slowly stood up. "See you." She said glumly to Rachael. She followed Kai over to the tables and sat across from him. Hilary looked over at Tala who was talking to his partner. Why, why couldn't it just worked out that she wasn't partnered with Kai? Like, seriously? Maybe she shouldn't have said anything. Hilary watched Mrs Goldstein walk around handing out sheets of the presentation topics. Hilary saw Rachael sitting in the other area with a dark haired boy. A sheet was placed in between Hilary and Kai.

"I hope you live up to the standard of your last essay, Hilary." Mrs Goldstein said before walking away.

Kai quickly looked at the sheet before sliding it across to Hilary. "I think we should do number four." H e said.

Hilary picked up the sheet of paper, looking at the topics. Number four was world war two. Hilary put the sheet of paper down. "Okay." She said.

"Isn't there one you would like to choose?" Kai asked.

Hilary shrugged. "I'm happy to do that one." She said, pulling out her world history notebook out of her bag. "Where do you want to start?"

/

_MARIAH! YOU GET ONLINE RIGHT THIS INSTANCE! I AM IN A CRISIS. EMERGENCY!_

/

Hilary pressed start on the photocopier. She had spent the first half of her study hall class, photocopying stuff on world war two out of huge, dusty books. The photocopier stopped and Hilary opened the top up and pulled out the book, put a different one on, closed the lid and pressed start. Hilary really didn't like idea of working with Kai for this project. Kai was smart. Like, genius smart. Much smarter than she was. She was probably going to lower his grade. She yawned. Why did Mrs Goldstein have to make that remark about her last essay? It wasn't that good... Now Kai probably thought she was some kind of nerd and that they would get easy A's. Ah, that was a good movie. Hilary wanted to open the photocopier lid and shut her head inside. Her life was draining her energy.

/

Hilary sat down at a table at the back of the library and pulled out her notebook. She began separating the photocopies into two piles. She was extremely annoyed. Not only did she have to do this presentation but her algebra teacher had decided to tell the class that the mid-term final exam would count for half their grade of the year and algebra was the worst subject on the earth. Hilary slid one pile of the photocopies to the other side of the table. She pulled out her high lighter and began reading. She had highlighted one sentence when Kai dropped into the chair across from her.

"Hey." He said.

Hilary looked up. Kai was studying the pile of paper in front of him. "Hi." She said back, looking back down at her own pile.

"Thanks." Hilary looked up. What was he thanking her for? Kai pointed down at his pile. "I was thinking that we should get this done quick, so it gets out of the way."

Hilary shrugged her shoulders, watching as Kai, got out his own highlighter. "I guess so." She said, watching as he popped the lid off. He had the longest, thin fingers she had ever seen. And his hands were... beautiful. Pale with lots of veins. Hilary looked at her pile quickly. What the hell was she doing looking at Kai's hands? She had a boyfriend. She no longer had feelings for him.

"I was thinking that if you're not busy this weekend, we could start putting it all together?"

Hilary froze. Alone? She'd be alone with Kai? "I'm not busy." She said, highlighting a section. "As long as it's not in the morning."

Kai laughed a little. "That's fine with me." He said. "I'm not much of a morning person either."

/

On Friday, after lunch, Hilary went to her locker and opened it up to find a large, thick book, sitting there on the top shelf. Who the fuck had broken into her locker? Hilary opened the book. It was in bloody Russian. Hilary picked up the piece of paper that was sitting there. _'Tomorrow, six pm, my room. Also photocopy all the pages marked'._ Hilary stared at the piece of paper. That jackass. Hilary stared at the top of the book where it had multicolored post-it notes hanging out the top. Did he think that was going to spend her whole study hall lesson this afternoon photocopying?! Hilary slammed her locker shut and stormed down the hallway. She was about halfway to French before she realized that she hadn't gotten any of her afternoon books. God damn Kai Hiwatari!

/

**So, all alone on a Friday night?**

_So? So are you, if I'm not mistaken?_

**The only reason why I'm all alone is because you guys left me here, alone! So, where is lover boy?**

_Out._

**Oooo, you sound angry. Is that why you're in a bad mood?**

_No, I don't really care if he goes out. I'm in a bad mood because all week I haven't gotten much sleep._

**Who did he go out with?**

_Kai? Bryan? Spencer? I think?_

**You think?**

_I'm pretty sure?_

**You're pretty sure?**

_MARIAH! STOP!_

**Fine, fine, okay... so this project with Kai... ;) Together....?**

_Yes, what about it?_

**You'll be working alone...?**

_I have a boyfriend now. I have no feelings for him what so ever._

**Really?**

_Really._

**Are you sure?**

_OF COURSE I AM SURE!_

/

After the first good night's sleep in a while, Hilary was ready. Ready to tackle her study daa- thing with Kai. Hilary made sure she had everything. Photocopied notes, pen, high lighter, notebook, stupid book that Kai had made her photocopy out of that took up her who study hall lesson literally. Hilary pulled on her hoodie and backpack and left. She pressed the up button for the elevator. Hilary couldn't remember the last time she was alone with Kai. Like, alone alone. Actually, it was that day when she was going to the doctors but she wanted to forget all about that. The elevator dinged and Hilary pressed fourteen. She wished she didn't have to do this. Why did she tell him she was busy? Like, how stupid was she? Hilary felt like mentally punching herself as she walked towards Kai's room. She took a deep breath and knocked.

The door swung open. "Hi." Kai said, taking a step backwards to let Hilary in.

"Hi." Hilary said, walking inside. She looked around. Looks like Kai was still finicky about being a neat freak. Hilary went over and sat down at the table. She pulled out the book Kai had given her and the photocopies she had made from it. "You could have said please, you know." She said as she pulled out her other stuff. "Or done it yourself."

Kai sat down across from her. "I had a physics exam. It's not like I could do it myself."

"You could've done it during lunch."

"I was busy."

Hilary snorted. "Yeah right." She said. "How long do we have to talk for?"

"Eight minutes." Kai said. "And there has to be a minimum of twenty-five slides."

Hilary crinkled her nose. Eight minutes was a long time. Perhaps she could get Kai to speak most of them... "So... how do you want to do the speech?" Hilary asked as she watched him write. "I have to admit I'm not the best public speaker."

Kai looked up. "You know we're only doing it in front of the teacher's right?" He asked. "I'm sure you'll do fine."

Hilary resisted the urge to smile. "I almost threw up last time." She said, remembering how Mr Lewis had thrown the garbage bin at her when she ran towards the classroom door. "And my teacher almost knocked me out with a garbage bin."

Kai stared at her. "Serious?" He asked. "That's crazy."

For the next two hours they worked in silence. Hilary resisted the urge to stare at Kai as he worked. It just amazed her how he could twirl his pen in his hand. If she attempted it, she'd probably end up with the pen in her eye. Her phone began vibrating in her pocket. She pulled it out. It was Tala. "Hello?"

"Hey, what you doing?"

Hilary looked over at Kai, who had looked up. "Um, still working on this speech thing with Kai. Why?"

"Want to go to a party?"

Hilary looked down at her work. She did need a break. "Yeah, okay. Where?"

"Well, Kai's meant to be coming so he can bring you too."

Hilary watched as Kai got up and walked over to the counter. "Uh, okay. I'll come."

"That's great; I guess I'll see you soon."

"Yeah, bye."

"Bye."

Hilary hung up her phone and put it down. Kai came back, carrying a glass of what looked like whiskey. "Sorry." She said.

Kai shrugged. "You don't have to apologize for taking a phone call from your boyfriend." Hilary stared at him. Why did he sound angry? Why did he say boyfriend like that? Kai downed the whole glass. "I guess you're coming tonight."

Hilary nodded slowly. "Yeah." She said. She watched Kai get up and pour another glass. It looked like studying was over. Hilary began to pack all her stuff away. She sighed.

Kai came back with two glasses this time, placing one in front of Hilary. "I never thought you two would get together."

Hilary looked over at him. "What?" She asked, picking up the glass and taking a sniff. Jesus, how did he drink this stuff? She took a sip. Ew, it was ghastly. Hilary drank the rest. Honestly, how could he drink this shit? "Um, I'm going to go take my stuff downstairs... I'll meet you in the lobby?"

Kai stood up. "No, I'll come with you." He said, walking over to his closet and pulling out black jacket.

Hilary walked over to the door and walked outside into the corridor. Things were back to being awkward between them. Hilary looked over at Kai as they stepped into the elevator. Why was he so hard to talk to sometimes? Sometimes she didn't even know how she had feelings for him. Hilary pressed '8' for her level. She was back to thinking that he was angry at her. It did sound it before when he said, 'you don't have to apologize for taking a phone call from your boyfriend'. Ugh. Boys. Stupid, stupid boys. Hilary stalked down the hallway to her room, not caring if Kai had caught up to her or even got out of the elevator. She jammed her key card in and pushed her door open and flicked on the lights. Hilary froze. Holy shit! Her room was... oh lordy Jesus. The door swung back into her, causing her to tumble sideways.

"You okay?" Kai asked from behind her.

"Yes!" Hilary said, sliding her backpack off and flinging it into the unknown. Her room was messy. More messier than normal and oh my fucking god, Hilary picked up the hot pink leopard print bra that was hanging over a chair and threw it over to where Kai couldn't see it.

"Is your room always this messy?" He asked, looking around.

Hilary stared at him. "Um, not normally." She said, looking for a warm jacket. She wasn't fully adjusted to the freezing cold weather yet. Hilary pulled on her red plaid jacket. This would have to do. "Okay, we can go." She said, patting her pocket to make sure she had put her key card back there.

/

Twenty minutes later, Hilary was standing in the loudest, darkest living room she had ever been in. She could barely hear herself think, let alone anything anyone was saying around her. Hilary followed Kai to the side of the room where Tala, Bryan and Spencer were standing. Tala wrapped his arm around her waist and leaned down and kissed her. Hilary rubbed the back of her neck. "Hi." She mouthed.

Tala leaned down to her ear. "You look very lovely in red." He basically shouted in her ear.

Hilary felt her cheeks grow warm. She caught the look on Kai's face and turned away. It was definitely looking like she was the problem. He probably thought that she wasn't good enough for Tala. A part of her wanted punch him and the other part wanted to know why. Why was he acting that way towards her? Stupid, stupid boys.


	11. Eleven

Hilary stared at the blank screen of her laptop. She didn't even understand why she was sitting at the table in front of it, instead of lying down in bed, where she should probably be. Hilary felt the need to vent the anger and frustration she was feeling. She didn't even know who she was more angrier at, or why she was even so angry. Herself? That skanky blonde chick in the gold top who basically humped Kai's leg all night? Or Kai himself, for that odd look he had given her? Hilary groaned. Her stomach burned. Maybe drinking all that alcohol had been the wrong idea. Hilary slowly got up and walked over to her bed, her stomach churning as it tried to accommodate the swishing alcohol inside. She flopped down onto the bed, instantly regretting it as her stomach flipped violently. Hilary thought she was going to puke all over her covers, oh god she hoped not.

Ugh, she was never going to drink again.

/

By Monday, Hilary was still regretting all the alcohol she drank Saturday night. She had spent most of Sunday, trying to summon the energy to even get out bed. From there on, Hilary knew her day would be terrible. Max and Tyson insisted that she joined them for a late lunch, that consisted on them talking as loud as they possibly could. Hilary spent the entire time, wishing that she had the energy to smashing both of their faces into the table to shut them up, because the sound of their voices made her head split open. Hilary opened her locker and pulled off her coat and jammed it inside. Somehow, her locker looked exactly like her room. She didn't even know how anything fit inside or how it got like that in the first place. She pulled out books, put books in and finally managed to close her locker to turn around and see Kai standing there right behind her. Hilary recoiled in shock. Kai looked very pale, even more paler than usual, as if he hadn't been sleeping very well. "Are you okay?" She asked.

Kai gave her a blank stare. "I'm fine." He replied. "I wanted to know if you mind if I start working on the slides for the power point?"

Hilary blinked. That's what he had to ask her? Kai looked tense, like he was stressing out about something, like grades or an exam, though Hilary didn't know why. Kai was a genius, the kind that didn't have to work hard and still got top marks. Hilary shrugged. "I guess if you want too. You know you could've just asked me tomorrow or started them. I wouldn't have minded." Kai continued to look at her as if she was stupid. "Are you sure you are okay?" She asked again.

Kai narrowed his eyes. "I'm fine." He said, before he stalked off down the hall.

Hilary stared at his retreating back. Kai wasn't the one for a long conversation but he never had spoken to her that rudely before. It felt like she had pissed him off somehow. Perhaps she should ask her world history teacher to swap partners.

A hand waved in front of Hilary's face. "Hello...?"

Hilary turned her head to see Tala standing next to her, looking at her with a concerned look on his face. "Tala..." She said slowly. "What are you doing here?"

"I saw you standing here talking to Kai... You okay? You looked kind of spaced out."

Hilary shook her head. "I'm fine, just tired from all the homework I've had lately." She said as they took off down the hall.

"Yeah, I spent all last night cramming for the chemistry exam that I have first period." Tala said. "I was meant to study with Kai but he blew me off."

"He's in your class?" Hilary asked. Maybe the exam explained Kai's mood.

"Yeah, we have AP chem, AP physics and gym together." Tala said. "I don't think I'm going to do very well on the test. I regret signing up to the class."

Hilary grabbed Tala's hand and squeezed tightly. "I'm sure you'll do fine."

/

A day later, Hilary wished even more that Kai wasn't her assignment partner for the stupid world history project. She had asked a girl in the other class as they filed into the library, on who had gotten the highest marks for the essays they had done. The girl had gone bright red in the face as she told Hilary that Kai received an A +. Hilary had felt her stomach drop. She had only gotten an A- and she had literally almost torn out her hair and had a nervous breakdown. She bet he was angry at her because he thought she would be letting their grade drop. He knew that she didn't do so well when it came to public speaking. Kai would probably never talk to her again if they didn't get an A. Hilary sat down at their usual table and pulled out her work. It wasn't exactly her fault that she felt ill everytime she did an oral project. Hilary could see it now. She would stand next to Kai, in front of both their teachers and then Kai would speak first and then it would be her turn and then she would open her mouth and out would come would be vomit. Hilary sighed. How embarrassing would that be if that actually happened. She was lucky last time that the garbage can had distracted her from actually vomiting all over the front row. Kai sat down in the chair across from her. "Hey." Hilary said softly. She hadn't seen him since yesterday at lunch. He had simply ignored her, not even looking at her as she had sat down at the table.

Kai looked up. "Hi." He said back, pulling out his books. "I started those slides."

"Oh." Hilary said lamely as she continued writing. She had started working on her part of speech. She just wanted to finish writing it and get it over with. "I started my part of the speech..." She said, holding up her notebook to show him what she had done.

Kai nodded. Hilary looked back down. It was like he had gone back to normal. As if yesterday's bad mood had never existed. "I was thinking, that... we should practice the execution of the speech." Hilary looked up. "You said that you don't do so well with orals so I was thinking that we practice the speech together, that way you feel confident about it."

Hilary thought that they would be practicing the speech alone. "That sounds good." She said. "I think I'll be letting us down though, no matter how hard I practice and try not to think about it, I still don't do very well."

"I'll be up there with you. I'll make sure you do fine." He said. "I promise."

Hilary stared at her notebook. Kai was willing to help her. It felt like those words should have made her feel better but instead, they made her feel worse.

/

Hilary should have known that Friday would be the worst day of a terrible week. It had started off bad. She couldn't find her gloves or where she had put her biology textbook that she had been reading the night before and to top off the shitty start to the day, her newly healed ankle, had decided it wanted to cause her nothing but searing pain. She was then late to school after she had bandaged her foot and then slowly limped to school. Perhaps that should have all been a sign for her to stay home instead of going to school. In biology, Mr Pearce sprung on them that they would be having a quiz. In world history, Mrs Goldstein drilled it into their heads that there was two weeks until they began presenting their projects. In AP English, Mr Fredericks dropped War and Peace, onto their desks. At lunch, Hilary had been forced to sit with Megan and the girls and listened to them as they gossiped and bitched about everyone behind their backs. Madame Bonnaire was still in her crabby mood and gave them three worksheets that were due second period Monday. Hilary was glad that by a miracle, her last class of the day was study hall. She had finished the final paragraph of her speech, which so far, was the only good part of her day and that didn't make her feel any better. After the final bell, Hilary limped to her messy locker. She was exhausted. She wanted to spend the entire weekend sleeping. Hilary opened her locker to find that someone had slipped a note inside. Hilary grabbed it and unfolded it. Come to my room straight after school. Hilary's right eye twitch. Who did he think he was? She knew exactly who had written it. Who else had the balls or the audacity to even write that?! Hilary scrunched the note up in her hand. After the stupid, horrible day, now she had to go practice their stupid speech?! Did he think she had nothing else better to do?! Hilary grabbed all the books she needed for the weekend and pulled on her coat. She slammed her locker door closed and started toward the exit. She was going to give him a piece of her mind when she got there.

/

Hilary knocked on Kai's hotel room door loudly. The whole way over, she had planned on what she was going to say to him. She was going to tell him where he could stick his next note if he wrote another one like that. And that she wasn't some kind of dog that would come when he snapped his fingers. And that she found it highly rude that he spoke to women like that. Hilary clenched her fists as she waited. She was going to stick to the plan. She would be brave and tell him exactly what she had planned and she wouldn't cower down. The door swung open to reveal a shirtless Kai whose hair was dripping wet. Hilary froze. She clenched her fists even tighter. Hilary couldn't open her mouth. She was afraid that she wouldn't be able to speak English.

"Are you going to come in?" Kai asked her.

Hilary snapped her eyes up to his face, nodding very fast. "Yes...Yes...Um...Yes." She said as she limped past him. WHY IN GODS EARTH DID HE NOT HAVE A SHIRT ON? Why did she care? She had a boyfriend! Hilary sat down on one of the chairs at the table, staring intently at her lap. She hoped he was putting a shirt on.

"Why are you limping? Did you do something to your ankle again?" Kai asked.

Hilary looked up slowly. Thankfully, he had pulled on a long-sleeved shirt. Good. "Um, I woke up and as soon as I put pressure on it, there was lots of pain."

Kai walked over to her and sat in the chair next to her. "I can take a look at it?" Hilary nodded slowly. Kai pulled her foot onto his lap, taking off her shoe and sock. Hilary hoped that her feet didn't smell. Kai unwrapped her bandage. Her ankle looked a bit more puffier than it had that morning. "I thought you were going to psychical therapy?"

Hilary blinked. Who had told him that? Tala? Tyson? One of the boys? "Uh, yeah, I go on Wednesday's. It was fine yesterday. Maybe I slept on it funny or something."

Kai moved Hilary's foot to the right, causing a jolt of pain. Hilary grimaced. "I'm sorry." He said softly. "Do you want to go to the doctors?"

Hilary shook her head. "I should be fine. If I'm not by Monday, I will go." Kai began wrapping her foot back up. "Why did you want me to come over?" She asked as Kai pulled her sock on. It was kind of weird how he willingly looked at her foot. Or that he even cared at all.

"I wanted to know if you finished your bit of the speech yet. That way we can practice this weekend or something."

Hilary shrugged her backpack off and pulled out her notebook. "I finished the final paragraph during study hall." She said. "Though, I wanted to ask you to read over it to make sure it sounds good." She held it out to Kai.

"I'm sure it's fine." Kai said as he took her notebook off her. What if he said it was shit? And that she should do it all over again? Or... She had no idea what he would think. Hilary stared at him as he read it, trying to decipher the look on his face. "Why do you look so worried, it's good." He said as he gave her notebook back. Hilary nodded as she pulled off her coat. It was heavy and awkward to sit in. "Why do you look so sad?"

"I don't look sad." Hilary said, looking at Kai.

"You're not the one looking at your face."

Hilary looked down. "I've just a really bad day on top of a really bad week on top of a really bad month and I'm tired and I spent like, 90 percent of my time doing homework or assignments or studying because I need good grades to get into a good college."

"Grades aren't everything."

Hilary looked back up. "No, but they count for a lot and I need really good ones if I want to get into a really good art school."

"You want to go to art school?"

Hilary shrugged. "I don't know, maybe, depends on how well I do this year and whether I set myself up good for next year." She said. "I have no idea what I want to do. College or my entire life."

"I don't think that you're meant to have it figured out by the time you're sixteen." Kai said softly.

"Do you know what you want to do after high school?"

"Masters in Engineering at the university of Oxford."

Hilary raised her eyebrow as she laughed. "I thought you weren't meant to have it figured it all out by sixteen?" She asked.

Kai had a small smile on his face as he shrugged his shoulders. "That's the only part I have figured out. Everything else is... open."

Hilary bit her lip as she looked down at her open notebook. It was the most open conversation she had ever had with Kai. She didn't know he would ever talk so freely with someone, let alone her. "I think we should start practicing this speech." She said.


	12. Twelve

Hilary wished school didn't happen on Monday's. Or Tuesday's. Or any other day of the week. Or that homework didn't exist either. After the shitty week she had had last week, she had spent the weekend doing nothing but homework and reading all 1358 pages of _War and Peace._ Homework had overtaken her life. It made her depressed knowing that's all she did with her life now. And that it wasn't likely going to stop until high school finished. No, actually it wouldn't finish until she finished college and then she'd have to find a job and then why was she thinking about this at all... Hilary groaned loudly into her locker. Why did her life have to be like this?

"What's wrong?" Tala asked as he stood against the lockers next to her.

Hilary turned to him. "My life sucks." She said, pulling a face.

"Aw, what's wrong?" He asked, moving closer to her.

Hilary looked up at him. "Homework controls my life." She said. "I haven't even watched last week's television shows yet. I can't even go on the internet unless I want to find what happened and Cas was in last week's _Supernatural_ episode!"

Tala chuckled. "I'm sure it will all work out. Plus after this project is done, it should free up some time." He said. "So you can spend your hours fan girling over Dean and Cas' supposed love."

Hilary whacked Tala's arm. "Don't joke about their love! It's real and true and speaking of the project." Hilary unzipped the front of her backpack and pulled out a stack of palm-cards. "These are for Kai. Can you pass them on for me?" She asked.

Tala looked at them. "You guys are way ahead of me and Dan. We're nowhere near where you've done."

Hilary closed her locker. "Well, Kai's kind of a drill Sargent. I wouldn't be this complete if I was alone." The speech may have been written but what had Hilary freaking out was the execution of it.

"I'm sure you'll do fine." Tala said, taking her hand as they walked down the hall. "Just picture everyone in their underwear. Or naked, that works for me."

Hilary pulled a face. "Ew! You want me to picture both of our teachers naked while I'm going through my worst nightmare?"

Tala laughed. "Or you could picture me naked instead? I promise I won't think of you as a pervert."

"I'm not a pervert!" Hilary said. "But doesn't mean you have to go be one and picture me naked while you do your speech."

Tala sighed. "Damn, that was the plan." He said as they stopped outside her homeroom class. "I'll see you in English?"

Hilary nodded. "Sure will." She said as Tala squeezed her hand before dropping it. She looked around the hall. She saw Kai standing at a locker nearby. She remembered what Kai had told her about his plans. _'Masters of engineering at the university of Oxford.' 'That's the only part I have figured out. Everything else is... open.'_ A part of her had admired Kai for already having goals in life but the other part made her sad. She'd most likely never see him after high school again. Kai wasn't one for sentimental mushy-gushy stuff in his life and she couldn't see him writing her emails of his life like Mariah did. Hilary slowly walked into her homeroom class, feeling even more worse than she did before.

/

**63 DAYS**

**63 DAYS**

**63 DAYS UNTIL WE SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN! AND YOU CAN TELL ME ALL THE NAUGHTY THINGS YOU CLEARLY GET UP TO BUT ARE WITHHOLDING ME WHEN I CLEARLY NEED TO HEAR THEM SINCE I AM HERE ALONE AND WITHOUT MY BEST FRIEND OR BOYFRIEND AND I NEEEEEED TO KNOW STUFFFFF SO STOP BEING MEAN AND TELL ME ALL YOUR DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS!**

**PS. Halloween is going to suck as I can't dress up to impress Rei.**

**PPS. PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE GOING TO BE WEARING SOMETHING SUPER SEXY TO DRIVE TALA INSANE?**

/

 _In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it._ That's what Lindsay Lohan had said in _Mean Girls_ before she appeared as some scary bride. When she got to school on Wednesday, Rachael had been waiting at her locker. Hilary had no idea why. Sure, they were nice but Hilary didn't trust her. She was probably the _Gretchen Wieners_ to Megan's _Regina George_ and Hilary did not want to end up in their version of the _burn book_. But she soon found out.

"You are going to Megan's Halloween party right?" Rachael asked.

"Uh, I don't know." Hilary said. "Am I even invited?"

Rachael looked at her funny. "Of course you're invited dummy. So is your boyfriend." She said. "It's not at Megan's though, it's at her new boyfriend's."

"She has a new boyfriend?" Hilary asked. Was she meant to know that Megan had a new boyfriend? Had it been mentioned lately at lunch and she simply hadn't remembered? It's not like she paid attention half the time.

Rachael nodded. "Yeah, he goes to the other international school. He's like the most popular guy. And he's a senior."

Hilary nodded slowly. Perhaps Megan had moved onto the other school because she had simply run out of guys at theirs. "Oh..." She said.

"It's like, all she's been going on about for like, a week." Rachael said. Yep, Hilary hadn't been paying attention. "Have you finished your speech yet?"

"Yeah, actually. And the power-point too. Just practicing my speech is what I have left."

"Ugh, so unfair, I have so much left and like, Sam is not a good partner. You are so lucky that Kai Hiwatari is your partner because he's like the smartest person in our year level and like, ugh I don't even think I will finish mine on time. And I have to get good marks. I totally bombed my essay last time around."

"I'm sure you'll get it done." Hilary said, looking down at her watch. "I have get to homeroom." She said before zooming off away from Rachael.

/

"You're late." Kai greeted her at his door.

Hilary frowned. She didn't know she could be late. The note in her locker said, _'Come to mine after school'_. "You didn't say I had to be here by a specific time." She said, pushing past him. She dropped her shopping bag onto the table, pulled off her backpack and coat.

"I've been waiting for an hour. Did you decide to have the pace of a tortoise on the way here?"

Hilary curled her fist. "No! I had to stop and get something." Doritos, she was out of them. "If you don't give me a time, then don't expect me to appear straight away." She turned around and faced Kai who stood there with the pile of palm-cards she had made for him.

"Thank you for these. You didn't have to write my set." Kai said.

Hilary felt the anger dissipate. "It's... okay." She said as she turned to get her own set out of her bag. "I know what your handwriting looks like so, um, yeah..." She hadn't set out to write Kai's. It had been an accident. She had one left before she realized what she had done. Hilary had honestly felt stupid.

"Do you want me to start?" He asked as Hilary sat down on the lounge. "Since I go first?"

Hilary nodded. "Sure. It would probably be best since we need to make sure it sounds right... the whole thing together."

/

Hilary woke up in complete darkness. Hilary sat up. How had she...? Was she in her hotel room? Hilary reached over and turned the lamp on and looked around. Definitely her room. The last thing Hilary had remembered was sitting on Kai's lounge thinking about how hungry and tired she was. Hilary's stomach grumbled as she got up. Her coat was hung back on the chair she usually sat on at the table and her backpack and bag of Doritos was sitting on her lounge. Had Kai helped her back here? What even was the time? Hilary went over to her backpack and looked for her phone. Not there. Hilary looked in her coat pockets. Not there either. Ugh, she couldn't even remember where she had put it. Hilary rubbed her face, trying to wake herself up more, as she walked over and opened her curtains. Turns out it wasn't the middle of the night. She turned around and looked around her room. Her phone was sitting on the side of her bed. Damn she was stupid sometimes. And blind. Hilary checked her phone. It's not like she had any messages anyways. Hilary threw her phone on the bed. She had to get ready for school, which just made her want to crawl back into bed and go to sleep. Hilary had a quick shower and managed to drag herself to school in time. Hilary stared at her locker. What day was it? Tuesday? She pulled out her phone. Yeah, it was Tuesday. Which meant she'd have to see Kai later in world history. Ugh. The idea of practicing the speech made her want to be sick. Especially after she read through her bit and was like, yeah okay I might do alright until Kai sounded as confident as a president.

"Hey Hilary!"

Hilary turned around. "Hey Emma." She said, shutting her locker. "What's up?"

"You're coming this afternoon right?" She asked.

Hilary stared at her. "Coming where...?"

"Shopping for our Halloween costumes for Megan's party?"

She really needed to start paying attention to what was said during lunchtime. "Yes, I am" She said, trying to look like she hadn't forgotten.

Emma smiled. "We're going to look so hot!"

/

Hilary had found Kai waiting outside the library at the start of world history. "Hi."

"Hi."

Hilary looked around before looking back at him. "Um, thanks for... er, yesterday...?" She said slowly, itching the side of her neck.

Kai shrugged his shoulders. "It's okay. You should have told me you were tired."

"I didn't realize how tired I actually was." She said, shifting her weight. "But I hope I wasn't like... super heavy or anything."

Kai moved closer and put his hand on her shoulder. "You should look after yourself better Hilary, or otherwise you're going to get seriously sick."

Hilary stared up at him. She couldn't read the expression on Kai's face. What was he trying to say? She looked after herself. Kai gripped her shoulder tightly before turning around and walked into the library. Hilary stood there. What the hell was she meant to make of that?

/

Hilary moaned. "That feels good." She said, biting her lip. "Higher."

"There?" Tala asked.

Hilary nodded. Oh damn that felt good. "Yeah, a little harder."

"Harder?"

"Oh Jesus, yes."

"Does that feel good?"

Hilary sighed. "Oh yeah, though I think a little higher and harder."

"How much can you take?"

Hilary laughed. "I can take a lot."

Tala chuckled. "I can see that." He said. "Is that better? My hand is cramping."

"Yeah, it feels much better." Hilary turned around to face Tala who was sitting on her couch. "Who knew you had a talent for massaging?"

"Well, it has been said that I do have magic hands." Tala said.

Hilary sat down next to him. "I didn't know shopping could be that hard. I will never complain when I go with Mariah ever again. Compared to today, every time with her has been a breeze."

"That bad?"

Hilary nodded. "And usually when I go shopping, I eat but no, can't do that! I had to pretend to go to the bathroom so I could chow down a double cheeseburger before I died of starvation."

Tala laughed. "Did you at least buy what you were looking for?"

"Yeah after like three hours." Hilary sighed. "Is it wrong that shopping doesn't give me the satisfaction like it gives normal girls?"

"Your only realizing now that you're not normal?"

Hilary whacked Tala's arm. "Hey, I'm totally normal. I just like things that some girls don't."

"Well, they're kind of like Mariah, why do you find it so hard getting along with them?"

Hilary shrugged her shoulders. "Mariah is girly but at the same time, she's tough and rough and scary and into other things and she knows I'm kind of nerdy and she let's me go on about... it and she doesn't make fun of me but I feel like if I let those girls know what I'm into then, I can see lots of..."

"You think that they're going to judge you."

Hilary gave him a look. "I know they will. Those kind of girls find out information and use it like a nuclear missile to destroy your social life."

Tala wrapped his arm around Hilary's shoulder and brought her in closer. "I think you might be surprised."

Hilary wanted to say, maybe but deep down she knew the truth.


	13. Thirteen

Hilary stared at her reflection in her bathroom mirror. She looked... like it had been several days since she had last looked at herself when in reality, it had only been six hours. Hilary snorted. Had it only been six hours since she was last in her room? It felt like an eternity and now she'd probably pay for it. Evil deeds came with consequences right? Tala was going to find out and then, oh god, it would be Nate and Chuck all over again except in real life. Hilary sniffed as she turned the tap on to wash off her make-up. What she would give to actually feel bad about what happened. She knew it was bad but why did she feel... Hilary looked back up. What the hell was wrong with her?

/

_Six Hours Prior_

Hilary walked out of the bathroom and sighed. "You can’t turn around." She said, scratching the side of her neck.

Tala turned around and whistled. "Damn, my girl looks good."

Hilary pulled a face. "I look like a ho."

Tala laughed. "It's Halloween so I bet you're probably one of the girls who are wearing the most clothes." He said, giving her a smile. "I don't think you look like a ho."

Hilary looked down. "Why do we all have to be cheerleaders? Like, it's kind of... weird." She said as she picked up her jacket. The last thing she wanted to do tonight was go out. She had plenty of other better things to do like, do a season five marathon of _Supernatural_ or play _The Sims 3_ for seven hours straight without blinking or reading smutty fan fiction or even doing her homework. "I don't think I can go out in public like this."

Tala wrapped his arm around her shoulder and steered her towards the door. "Yes, it would be a crime for other people to see how sexy you are."

/

Megan's new boyfriend, whatever his name was, had a huge house. Hilary assumed it was in the same area as Megan's but holy damn Jesus, it was so much more bigger. "Who is this guy again?" She asked Rachael, who was the only person she had recognized upon getting here.

"Um, I think he's some ambassador's son?" Rachael said, her nose crinkling as she tried to remember. "I think? Or maybe that was one of her previous boyfriends...?" She shook her head. "All I know is that he's rich."

Hilary looked around. "That's an understatement." She said. There were tons of people crammed into this room. "Where is everyone else?"

Rachael shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know but Megan said she'd introduce me to one of David's friends."

"Is that a good thing?" Hilary asked.

Rachael didn't sound enthusiastic about the prospect of being set up. Rachael shrugged her shoulders again. "Depends if it's... a joke or not..." She said tossing her hair backwards. "Sometimes I... Hey guys!"

Hilary turned around. It was Tala, with Tyson, Max and Rei in tow. "Hey!" She said.

Tyson looked her up and down. "Damn Hilary, you're looking damn fi-" Hilary punched him in the arm, hard. "Ow! Why you hitting me? I'm just giving a compliment!"

Hilary frowned. "You're giving me a compliment?" She asked. "Is Emma here?" She asked Rachael. Now Rei was with them, it probably would be soon that Emma found them.

Rachael looked at her phone. "She hasn't sent me a message. She's probably around here somewhere." She said. "You boys should have brought us some drinks." She said, giving Tyson a smile. Hilary watched Tyson who stared at Rachael as if she was the most important thing in the room.

Tyson gave her a smile in return. "Sure, what are you drinking?" He asked.

"Vodka and Redbull, if they have it. Or Vodka and lemonade." Rachael replied. Tyson turned around.

"Hey!" Hilary said as he began to walk away. "I'll have one of those too!" Tyson waved his arm in reply. She rubbed her hands together. It was freezing inside here, like someone had left all the doors and windows open. Hilary grabbed Tala's hand and held it tightly.

"Your hand is freezing." He said, grabbing her other one. "Do you want my jacket?"

Hilary shook her head. "No, I'm okay. I'll live." She said. She really regretted dressing up, especially since her skirt barely covered anything. "You finished your speech?" She asked Rachael.

Rachael shook her head. "No, almost, but I reckon I'm barely going to pass." She said. Tyson returned with their drinks.

"Thanks." Hilary said as she took a sip.

"Hey guys!" Someone loudly shouted over the music. Hilary turned her head to see Emma coming towards them, brandishing a bottle of tequila. Oh no. "Who wants to do shots?!" She said, raising the bottle over her head.

Hilary had planned on drinking much, but fuck it. "ME!" She screamed loudly.

/

Hilary stared at the bottles that were on the counter. Two bottles of tequila, several rounds of vodka and Redbull and a large cup of peach schnapps later, one might suggest that she was kind of tipsy. She had lost everyone by going to the bathroom. That was okay, if she had to watch Rachael lick her lips suggestively to Tyson one more time, she’d probably be sick. She had no idea what the time was…. where had she left her phone? Hilary patted the sides of her skirt. Oh yeah, she had no pockets so she had left it back at the hotel. That was probably a good thing, she might accidentally lose it. Like that time she lost it and spent a couple of days looking for it only to find in the drawer they kept the cutlery back home. Hilary laughed. That was so funny. Hilary paused. She couldn’t actually remember the last time she used her phone. Where had she used it exactly? Hilary shrugged her shoulders and opened a bottle of half empty vodka and took a sip. “Blerg.” She said quietly as she put the lid back on and put it back down. That was an instant regret. She turned around and looked around. She froze at the sight of Megan coming towards her alone.

“Hi.” Megan said as she lent against counter next to Hilary. “I see you’ve lost everyone.”

Hilary nodded. “Yeah, I went to the bathroom and got a bit lost. This place is huge.”

“Wealthy people do like flaunting what they’ve got.”

Hilary turned her head towards Megan. What the hell did she mean by that? “So…. How are things with…” What was his name?

Megan smiled. “Alexander? He’s great, kind of a bore but at least he’s not as moody and broody like the other one.” She said. “I don’t know how you guys are all friends with someone so anti-social.”

“I don’t know either.” Hilary admitted. “It’s probably the charm.”

Megan snorted. “It works to get girls into bed. I highly doubt it is the reason why you all hang around him.” Hilary bit her lip and looked away. “It’s probably why you’re so infatuated with him. He’s a mystery to everyone but I’ll spoil it for you, it’s his way of attention seeking. He’s not as half as anti-social or mysterious as he thinks he really is.”

“I’m not infatuated with him.” Hilary said. “He’s just a friend. I’m with Tala.”

Megan moved to stand in front of Hilary, eyebrows raised. “Really? It’s quite obvious, probably even to your boyfriend. He knows he’s playing second fiddle to your… thing for Kai. You settled for Tala because Kai isn’t interested in anything but a quick fuck and kicking you right out the door.” Hilary stared at Megan. Megan leaned in close. “He’s going to fuck you up and you’re going to let him.” Megan leaned back. “You might think I hate you but I’m being honest. Let go of whatever feelings you have for him and realize what you have is great on its own."

Hilary rubbed her hands on her face. What the fuck was Megan going on about? _He’s going to fuck you up and you’re going to let him._ She had to be playing her. Hilary felt ill. She didn’t know if she was going to be sick or her face felt hot. She needed the bathroom… Hilary walked towards the bathroom she had used before. _He’s going to fuck you up and you’re going to let him_. Why did Megan have to say that? It was going to be stuck in her head, mimicking that annoying tone of voice Megan had. Hilary rounded the corner and ran into someone. Hilary looked up. Fucking Jesus.

“Hilary?” Kai asked.

“This is just great!” Hilary exclaimed. “Of all people to run into it had to be you!”

Kai stared at her. “Are you okay?” He asked.

“Am I okay?” She repeated. Hilary took a deep breath. Why was she out of breath? She really needed to start being more healthier. “No! Everything is very hot and my face feels like it’s on fire!” Kai grabbed her arm and took her down the hall. “What do you think you are doing?”

“Do you always get this angry when you drink?” He asked as he pushed into a bathroom.

Hilary turned around. “I haven’t been drinking.” She said, standing as still as possible.

Kai smirked. “I can smell the alcohol on you. You smell like a mixture of peach schnapps and tequila.”

Hilary pursed her lips together. “Tequila tastes like oil.”

Kai chuckled as he turned the tap on. “I’m assuming by that, that means Max and Tyson are here.” Kai pressed his wet hand against Hilary’s forehead. Oh water was so lovely.

“Yes. They are.” She said leaning into Kai’s hand. “I’m pretty sure Rachael’s into Tyson or the other way around or both.” She leaned against the counter as Kai wet a cloth underneath the water. “It’s kind of weird. And gross. Imagining them.” She poked her tongue out. She laughed. “I’m so funny.”

Kai turned the tap off. “I think you’re a bit drunk. You should get back to your boyfriend so he can get you back to the hotel so you can sleep it off.”

Hilary looked up at him. Megan was totally wrong about Kai. About everything. “I have no idea where he is. I lost him ages ago….” Hilary licked her lips. Kai was really close now.

“Don’t do that.” His voice was low.

“Do what?” She asked, licking her lips again. She could feel Kai’s hand in her hair, the other one on her hip, freezing cold against the bare skin between her top and her skirt. She bit her lip, what the fuck was going on. Kai’s lips were on hers, his hand gripping her hip tightly. This was wrong… so very very wrong. Hilary leaned in closer, gripping his… shirt sweater thingy tighter. If it was so wrong why was she kissing him back? Why was she pulling him to be as close as possible? Kai’s hands were freezing, Hilary realised as she let him put her onto the counter. The total opposite of Tala’s who burned hot… Hilary froze. She pushed Kai away. What the fuck was she doing?! She had a boyfriend! Kai stared at her. “I…I…I have to go.” She said, hopping down and rushing out of the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her. What the hell had she done? She had just made out with her boyfriend’s best friend? Hilary rushed down the hall. What the fuck had she done?

/

Hilary sat at the bottom of the shower. She had been in there so long that her fingers were pruny but she didn’t have the energy to get out. What was she going to do? Hilary could hear knocking on her door. Whoever it was, they could leave. She didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially not… Hilary lifted her head. “What are you doing here?” She asked.

Tala walked over and opened the door, crouching down to her level. “Rachael said you left. I was worried.”

Hilary bit her lip. Oh god, she was going to start crying again. Why did he have to be so… caring and nice? She was going to ruin his friendship with Kai… her relationship with him… he was going to hate her. Hilary looked at Tala. “I was…I…” Hilary looked down. She couldn’t do it. “I wasn’t feeling very well.” She said.

Tala stood up and grabbed her towel. “Come on, let’s get you dressed and into bed and I’ll make you some tea.”

Hilary slowly stood up, her head spinning slightly as she turned off the water and stepped out. Tala wrapped the towel around her. “Thanks.” She said as he guided her out of the bathroom. She had just booked her one way ticket to hell.


	14. Fourteen

“Nervous?”

Hilary shrugged her shoulders as she took another bite of toast and bacon. “Not really.” She said after she finished chewing. “I can’t wait for it to be over.” The last thing she wanted to do right now was the speech or even be near Kai.

She could almost hear Tala sighing on the inside. “Did something happen between you and Kai?” Hilary paused. “Did you two have an argument or something?”

Hilary scratched the side of her neck. “No.”

This time Tala did sigh out loud. “Okay… I’ll just drop it. He’s being just as stubborn as you…”

Hilary stared at her empty plate, the food in her stomach turning. A week had gone past and she felt incredibly guilty still. “I don’t know what he’s problem is…” She said as she rummaged through her backpack for her wallet.

“I’ve got it.” Tala said as he stood up and went towards the cashier.

Hilary stared at his retreating back. She resisted the urge to throw up as she pulled on her coat. She felt more disgusted in herself every moment she continued to keep it inside. She suspected that Mariah knew something had happened. Hilary didn’t know how much longer she was going to keep it bottled up.

/

Hilary itched at the side of her neck as she walked around in a circle, trying to go over her palm cards as many times as she could before she had to deliver her speech. By luck, they were to be one of the last pairings to give their presentations, which had left Hilary hope that maybe they might fall asleep half through their speech and receive a decent mark. Hilary crinkled her nose as she squinted at the top palm card, trying to read her own handwriting. After this was done, she would then have to concrete on mid-terms. School was a never ending cycle of exams and tests and assignments. Just a year and half left. And then four years of university. And then work until she retired. And then death. Hilary threw her head back and scoffed. Hilary had no idea where Kai actually was. He wasn’t in the classroom where the teachers had dumped the other students and he wasn’t in the hallway waiting with her. What if he hadn’t even turned up? No! No! He had the power point. He had to turn up. He had better be at school. She had barely seen him other than glimpses since Monday. Which was a good thing. The less she saw of him, the best, she had decided on her way to school on Monday. Hilary leaned against the lockers and closed her eyes. She had to remember deep breaths, keep eye contact… and try not to vomit. Hilary opened her eyes at the sound of shoes coming towards her. It was the devil himself. Finally. Hilary’s mouth dropped open as he got closer. He had a brand new haircut. The left hand side and what looked like the back, was very short but the right hand side was left longer. Hilary closed her mouth. “Nice of you to actually arrive.” She said rather bitterly, freezing right after the last word came out. Oh my god, she didn’t mean to sound like a total bitch.

Kai turned his head towards her. “How long have they been in there?” He asked, ignoring what she had said.

“They should be finished soon.” Hilary said, watching him as he pulled out his palm cards out of his back pocket. Hilary tried to focus. She needed to nail this. She let out a deep breath. Perhaps sculling six Red Bulls this morning after breakfast had been too much. She felt the urge to jangle her leg up and down in an effort to burn off some of the energy. She could do this. She clenched and unclenched her fist.

“Are you alright?”

Hilary looked over at Kai who looked unnervingly calm. How could he be so calm? Of course he would be able to do this without breaking a sweat. Hilary shrugged her shoulders. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

Hilary narrowed her eyes. “I’m fine.” She put her palm cards in the right order. Deep breaths. She should just pretend that the teachers were in their underwear. Hilary grimaced. Ew, gross. Hilary looked over at Kai. Maybe she could just picture Kai in his…. Hilary felt her cheeks grow warm. How about no….

/

Hilary practically ran back to the hotel. She could barely remember even walking into the classroom let alone actually delivering the speech. Kai had stared at her all during lunch as if she had grown a second head. What did he care if she messed it up? He was probably going to walk away with a perfect grade while she would be hoping with at least a good passing grade. It was freezing outside. Hilary assumed that it was going to rain soon, dark clouds looming behind her as she walked back as if they were following her. Maybe she should take that as a sign of doom and gloom was bound to happen. Hilary pulled her beanie off as she walked across the lobby.

“Miss Tachibana?” She heard someone call her name. She turned around. It was the young woman behind the reception desk, waving her hand for Hilary to come over. Hilary sighed and walked over. “These came for you today.” She said, handing Hilary several parcels. It looked like all of her recent online shopping purchases had arrived.

“Thanks.” She said as she walked to the elevators. Why did it look like she had another order from Victoria’s Secret even though she had already gotten the one Mariah had forced her to get? Hilary screwed her nose up. She hoped Mariah hadn’t gone overboard? And why was Mariah picking her underwear out to wear? That was beyond weird. Hilary rode up to her floor and walked along the empty hallway. She let herself into her room and dumped her backpack on the ground and walked over to the table. She put all the packages down and ripped open the first one. Hilary stared at it. She had forgotten but she had ordered Kai’s birthday present already. All of Shakespeare’s tragedies in one book. In German. Hilary dropped it back onto the table and dropped into the chair in front of her laptop. She opened her Skype and scrolled looking to check if Mariah was online. Damn it, she was offline. She was probably in the middle of dinner or something. Hilary got up and walked over to her bed and dropped down face down.

/

Hilary hid in her hotel room all weekend. She barely moved from her bed, rain had always made her sleepy like she was a cat. Mariah was in serious planning mode of what she was bringing when she arrived. So far it was basically nothing but ‘sexy lingerie’. Hilary had pointed out that she couldn’t wear just ‘sexy lingerie’ to school or anywhere but the hotel room which Mariah had promptly gave Hilary a six hour fashion show of every item of clothing she owned. Perhaps Mariah hadn’t realised Hilary wasn’t the best person to consult when it came to clothes. Hilary shoved her coat and gloves into her locker and grabbed her morning books. Last night she had had a nightmare that Mrs Goldstein had given out everyone their grades only for Mrs Goldstein to say to her after she asked where was hers, “who are you?”. Why did world history have to be eighth period on Monday? She wanted to know her grade right now!

“Hey…” Tala said as he walked up to her locker.

“Hey. How was your weekend?” She asked as she pulled her backpack on.

Tala shrugged. “I didn’t end up doing anything with Kai.”

Hilary gripped her straps. “Why not?” She asked as they set off towards her homeroom.

“I went over and he was sitting in the dark, drinking whiskey and listening to that _Arctic Monkeys_ album.” Tala said, crinkling his nose. “Kind of weirded me out… I think he’s depressed about something.”

Hilary looked away. “Sounds like typical Kai to me.” She said. “What are you doing this weekend?”

“It’s Kai’s birthday on Monday so Bryan and Spencer want to do something this weekend. Something that’s probably a little….”

“Manly? I get it. Boys only?”

Tala shrugged. “With those two, you never know where we end up but I promise I will make it up to you.”

Hilary smiled. “You better.”

/

The final bell rang and Mrs Goldstein still hadn’t handed out their grades despite saying they were ready. Hilary packed up slowly as Mrs Goldstein pulled out a stack of papers out of her drawer.

“Collect your marks before you go.” She said. Hilary rushed up to the front. “Good job Hilary.” She said as she handed Hilary a piece of paper.

Hilary rushed out of the room before she looked at it. 98 out of 100. That was a A plus. Was she dreaming? Hilary stared at the paper in her hands. That was the highest mark she had ever received. Hilary looked up, pushing her hair behind her ear. Her mom was probably going to die of happiness. Hilary started off down the hallway to get her coat. She wanted to squeal of happiness right now though that would probably be considered weird and dorky and there was no way she was going to do it with all these people around her. Hilary saw the other class being let out ahead. Kai walked out, towering over most people. Hilary wondered if he had gotten the same grade. Hilary rushed to catch up to him. “Kai!” She called his name, causing him to stop and turn around.He was frowning.

“What?”

Hilary blinked. “Um, I just wanted to see what grade you got?” It felt like Kai’s eyes were creating holes into her skull. Kai lifted a piece of paper. There was a large 100. Hilary felt her happiness dissipate. “Oh.”

Kai dropped his arm. His face relaxed a little bit. “You?”

Hilary shrugged her shoulders. “I only got a 98.” She said softly, staring at the ground. Of course he had gotten a better grade than she did. She felt his hand grip her shoulder. Hilary looked up.

“That’s better than what you were expecting right?” He asked. Hilary nodded. “Then chin up, you did good.” He turned around and walked away.

Hilary bit her lip. Nope, she was going back to her original thoughts. No thinking of him. After today, she had no reason to even look his way.

/

**HILARY, 45 days until we see each other! I have already started packing! We have so much to do when I get there. Maybe after when Rei and I are done catching up on all the you know what we’ve been missing out on. Maybe you did not want to know that??? But I don’t care, you’re my BFF and that means having to put up with TMI moments! You know BFF’s do tell each other everything right? Rei told me that you and Kai have both been weird. So out with it. Tell me. I want to know. Was he being a jerk again? You know, maybe… hm, I dunno, it would probably be best to give advice IF I KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON????? I AM A NOSY PERSON. I WANT TO KNOW. COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU DON’T TELL ME, I’LL MAKE REI GET IT OUT OF YOU AND HE WILL TELL ME AND THEN I WILL BE ABLE TO HELP.**

/

Mariah’s last email scared Hilary. She knew Rei wouldn’t come question her, even if Mariah did ask him too, but guilt was starting to build to the point where she had nightmares about burning at the stake or hanging or hair shaving and public humiliation. And to top everything off, Hilary swore she was coming down the flu. Or just a cold, but annoying regardless.

“What’s up?” Rei asked her as they walked towards French class together.

Hilary had been avoiding him since Monday but that was kind of rude. She had been avoiding everyone really. “Nothing.” Hilary said.

“You can tell me. I won’t tell Mariah or anyone else….”

Hilary looked up at Rei. “It’s nothing honestly. I think I’m getting sick.” Rei gave her a look. “I promise.” How was she supposed to say, ‘I got drunk. Kissed Kai who is my boyfriend’s best friend.’ Without inciting anger and fights and people hating her like in _Gossip Girl_ when Nate found out about Chuck and Blair and holy crap. Hilary’s stomach turned.

“You know you can tell me anything right.”

Hilary opened her mouth. She closed it. “I know.” She said slowly. “Can you do me a favour?” Rei nodded. Hilary stopped and pulled out Kai’s birthday present all wrapped up. “Can you pass this onto Kai? But don’t tell him it’s from me. Like, lie or something or say you got it for him.” She shoved the book into Rei’s hands.

Rei studied the present. “Okay… boy you two are weird lately.” He said, putting it into his backpack. “Perhaps you’re both getting sick?”

Hilary turned away and continued on towards French. She had to tell Tala. And soon.

 


	15. Fifteen

Hilary coughed loudly, her throat burning. She opened her bottle of water and quickly drank some, sighing in relief from the yuck feeling that currently graced it’s presence inside her throat.

“I thought you said you were feeling better.” Tala said as joined her at her locker.

Hilary turned her head as she pulled on her coat. “I am. I just can’t seem to get rid of the coughing part.” She said as she pulled on her gloves. “It gets worse late at night.” She closed her locker.

Tala wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “So, what you want to do tonight?” He asked as they walked down the hallway.

“I was thinking of… absolutely nothing as I am still getting exhausted from doing absolutely nothing.” She said as they left school. It had been almost a whole month since the kiss with Kai and Hilary still hadn’t told Tala. Once, she almost did but immediately backtracked when Kai called Tala. It was like he knew she was about to tell him. She could tell him and then move back home. Yes, such a good plan. All her friends would then think she’s a loser and a coward and a dirty cheating whore. But then she would be back home and she could totally be home-schooled and hide out until she went to college and never speak to anyone ever again. “Plus maybe Chinese food. I think my appetite is finally coming back.”

Tala laughed. “Maybe you are getting better if you’re feeling hungry.” He said as they waited at the crossing for the lights. “And we could start watching that ninja anime you wanted me to watch….?”

Hilary looked up at Tala. “You want too? Oh my god!” She threw her arms around his stomach. “Yes, yes, please can we totally watch _Naruto_ and eat Chinese food!”

“I said we would…. Can’t go backing out of it now.” He said as they crossed the road. “The things I do for my girl.”

Hilary stiffened. Her stomach turned. She tightened her grip. “You’re the best.” She said softly.

/

Hilary stared at her phone with bleary eyes. She had woken up to one new Facebook message. From Megan. _Come to my house when you read this. I have to talk to you about something_. Hilary blinked, re-reading the message again. Was she dreaming? Had Megan messaged the wrong person by mistake? Hilary threw her phone down next to her and rolled over and pressed her face into her pillow. It was Sunday, nine-thirty in the god-damn morning and she had plans. Not very important plans, but plans of sitting on tumblr and watching shows and eating food. Plus, Megan was bound to see that she had read the message thanks to _Facebook’s_ stupid thing where it came up. Hilary rolled off the bed and had a quick shower and pulled on some clothes. Hilary sat back down on the edge of her bed and started brushing her hair. She wondered why Megan wanted to talk to her, not Rachael or Emma or maybe she had sent them the same message and they were all invited over. She dropped her brush onto the bed and began plaiting her hair. Hilary sniffed as she pulled on her coat and gloves and made sure her bank card and key card to her room were in her pocket. She left her room and took the elevator to the lobby. Thankful that Kai wasn’t on the elevator or that she didn’t run into him as she left the hotel. She was thinking of emailing her mom and getting her to send Mariah some books that she desperately wanted to read. The books she had with her, had gotten boring after the third time of reading them. “Fuck.” Hilary muttered as she realised she hadn’t brought her headphones. How could she be so stupid? At least Megan didn’t live that far away. She had plenty of study to do. Exams would be coming very soon and then Mariah was arriving on the 26th and holidays didn’t start until the day before New Year’s Eve because Russian Orthodox’s didn’t celebrate Christmas until the 7th of January. Hilary turned down a couple more streets until she reached the gates of Megan’s huge house. Hilary instantly felt like she didn’t belong. Hilary pressed the doorbell, stamping her feet, trying to dislodge some sticky leaves. The door swung open.

“You’re here. Good, come in.” Megan said, pulling her inside and slamming the door shut. “Did you tell anyone you were coming here?”

Hilary stared at her. Megan’s eyes looked crazy, as if she had drunk twelve Red Bull cans. “Uh, no, I didn’t.” She said, pulling off her gloves.

“Good, good.” Megan said, practically pulling Hilary’s coat off and throwing it on the table in the foyer along with her gloves. “Take off your boots. My step-mom would kill me if you got dirt everywhere. She’s a germ freak and a dirt freak and a neat freak. Practically, she’s just a freak in general.” Megan must have drunk twelve cans of Red Bull and snorted some whizz-fizz or something.

Hilary pulled off her boots and followed Megan up the stairs. She was definitely acting weird. Maybe she had hit her head and thought Hilary was her friend or something? Megan’s room was full of pastels. Pinks, purples, mint green? And was very girly. “Was I supposed to not tell anyone I was coming over?” She asked as Megan closed the door and rushed over to the white desk with an open laptop.

“It doesn’t really matter if you told someone. I have something to show you.” Megan said, waving her over. Hilary’s stomach flipped. This was it. It was a video or a photo or even just a word document saying, “ **I SAW YOU** **KISS KAI!!!! YOU CHEATING SLUT!!!** ”

“Show….Show m-me WH-at?” Hilary’s voice sounded very high pitched and squeaky. Why couldn’t she ever play a good poker face? Hilary stood rooted in the spot by the door.

Megan looked over her shoulder, frowning. “Get over here.” She snapped. Hilary’s limbs felt shaky as she walked over. “Read this.” Hilary peered at the screen where an email was opened up.

‘ **I know what you’ve done Megan. I know ALL of your dirty little secrets. About you. About your little friends. About your ex’s. If you don’t do what I say, I’ll expose them, one by one**.’

“What the fuck?” Hilary said automatically. “Who would send this?” Hilary looked at the sender column. Meganssecretkeeper.

Megan shook her head. “I don’t know. I thought I’d ask you.”

Hilary looked at Megan. “Are you asking me if I sent that?” She asked, staring at Megan. “I… I’m not into mind games.” She said. “Or pettiness or silly attempts to look like that A thing out of that show.”

Megan frowned. “Are you talking about _Pretty Little Liars_?”

Hilary shrugged her shoulders. “Am I?” She asked. “Beside the point, I don’t know any of anyone’s secrets so it’s not me.”

Megan sighed and closed her laptop lid. It seemed like someone hated Megan a lot. Someone who knew her very well. “I don’t know, you’re the newest person that’s my friend so I was just making sure.” She said, getting off her desk chair and flopping on her bed.

Hilary looked around Megan’s bedroom. She wondered if Kai had ever been in here. If they had sex on the bed Megan seemed to be having a crisis on. Hilary sat down on the vacant desk chair. There was no way in hell she was sitting on that bed if so, even just in case. “You get into a fight with someone recently?” She asked.

“No. And it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing a guy would do either.”

Hilary stared at a photo of Megan and two other girls. “You can never be sure…. Are you sure no one has ever said, ‘I’ll get you for this’ or something.”

Megan sat up, staring at Hilary. “No. They would know better than to piss me off.”

Hilary was sorely tempted to roll her eyes. “It sounds like a very _Mean Girls_ thing to do.”

Megan’s eyes lit up. “You love _Mean Girls_ too?!”

/

“And I was roped into watching _Mean Girls_ with her and then she found out I didn’t have one of these _Instagram_ accounts… so she made me get one and then take like hundred ‘ _selfies_ ’ with her and I finally got back and just slept for seventeen hours because I was so exhausted.” Hilary said to Tala as they walked to school on Monday. To say Megan had worn her out yesterday might have been an understatement. Though Hilary didn’t know if it was just her or the fact her cold-flu thing had come back with a vengeance.

“It’s nice that you two seem to be getting along better.” Tala said.

Hilary shrugged. In a way, it did feel better. But Hilary still didn’t trust her. She remembered as Megan had almost practically begged her not to tell Rachael and Emma about the weird creepy email. “I guess. I’ve just never really been good at making friends.” She remembered how she and Mariah didn’t get along at first.

“So, do I get to know what your _Instagram_ name is?” Tala asked.

Hilary looked up at him. “You have one?”

Tala shrugged. “Everyone seems to have one.”

“Everyone?”

Tala laughed. “I’m pretty sure you are like the only person left that I know that didn’t have one. Even Kai has one and that’s saying something.” Tala pulled out his phone and brought up the app. “Search yourself and add it.”

“You better not have added photos of me on here!” She said as she searched her name and pressed ‘follow’. Hilary went onto Tala’s profile and scrolled through the pictures, her face going red as she looked at some of the photos of them. “Tala!” She said, giving his arm a playful push. “Seriously, I look hideous!”

“Oh you do not.” He said. “And you know it.”

Hilary looked at the other photos, pausing briefly of the shirtless photo of him and Kai. She was half-tempted to go and find Kai’s profile but Hilary exited the app and passed Tala his phone back. “Just wait until I upload some of the photos I have of you!” She said, sprinting off.

/

**Did you send your mom off that list of things you wanted her to send me to bring?**

_You know, you could’ve just said, did you ask your mom about the list?_

**Don’t sass me woman. It doesn’t ever sound right on a computer**

_Fine, I won’t ‘sass’ you then._

**Did you though?**

_Yes, I did. She said she will also give you my Christmas present since you’ll already be going this way and it will save her the trouble._

**Ugh great. More things to lug around.**

_Most of your stuff is coming via courier?! You’re bringing two suitcases???!!!_

**But you know me, psychical labour, nu-huh, not my thing bucko. I see you finally made an account. You are always behind the times.**

_Sorry about that._

**I bet you totally stalked Kai’s profile. He doesn’t post that much but I saw that photo he posted…**

_I did not stalk his profile. All I did was click follow and that was it._

**I BET YOU TOTALLY DROOLED OVER THE PHOTO. I HAVE TO ADMIT, IT WAS TOTALLY SMOKINNNG**

_Friends do not “drool” over other friends photos. Or stalk them._

**Right. You and Kai are friends and YOUR FRIEND IS ONE OF THE SEXIEST MEN ON THIS PLANET.**

_I’m telling Rei. He will be so pleased_

**GRRR I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL I AM THERE SO I CAN BEAT YOU UP WHEN YOU ARE SASSING ME.**

_You have a boyfriend, maybe you should stop “drooling” over other guys._

**HEY! I do not drool. I appreciate that other men might be good looking but that’s it. Rei is my number one man in everything. Boyfriend goodness, sexiness, manliness and sex. He’s also pretty good at that.**

_JFC MARIAH, STOP TELLING ME THIS ABOUT HIM. I STILL HAVE TO LOOK AND MAINTAIN A CONVERSATION WITH HIM WITHOUT GOING “YES, MARIAH HAS TOLD ME ALL THE KINKY THINGS YOU TWO DO TO EACH OTHER.”_

**Wow, you need to get laid sister.**

_I DO NOT_

**Maybe you should look at the photos your boyfriend post and then call him up and be like, ‘do me sweetheart, I’m horny as hell.’**

_BECAUSE THAT’S SO ROMANTIC????!!! AND I WOULD NEVER DO THAT, HOW EMBARRASSING???!!!!_

**You’re still a virgin aren’t you? Have you even gone past first base? I thought you would’ve told me these things; I am your best friend you know. Like no wonder why you are so tense and worked up. You and Tala need to go release some of that pent up aggression horizontal style.**

_What’s first base again?_

**JFC YOU ARE SO FUCKING CLUELESS**


	16. Sixteen

Hilary threw a bunch of bras onto the steadily growing pile of clothes on the other side of her bed. Mariah was due to arrive in ten minutes. Well, technically, Mariah had landed about thirty minutes ago but Rei had been the only one to go to the airport, because Hilary didn’t really feel the need to watch them suck face in public and the other reason why Hilary hadn’t gone was because Rei had insisted that she didn’t go outside into the freezing cold wind and snow because of her stupid cold-flu that still hadn’t left her body. Rei was honestly getting as bad as Tala with how much they were both treating her like a child. The only good part of being treated like a child was the insistence that she ate food. She was trying to make her room look at least presentable for Mariah but she was running out of room. She looked around. Yes, everything seemed tidy enough for Mariah. Hilary dropped onto the sofa. Now it was time to wait. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and opened her messages, into the folder with the ones from Tala. She stared at her phone. Hilary had no idea what to say. She locked her phone and rubbed her forehead. God, she was tired from being up early. There was a knock at the door and Hilary jumped up. Finally! She raced over to the door and swung it open.

Mariah screamed.

Hilary screamed.

“My ears.” Rei said.

Hilary flung her arms around Mariah. “Oh my god!”

“Oh my god!” Mariah yelled in Hilary’s ear.

“Oh my god, you are standing in the hallway.”

Hilary stared at Mariah. “You are really here.” She said as she looked Mariah up and down.

“You look different.” Mariah said. “I missed you so much.”

“I’ll let you two catch up.” Rei said, holding up a plastic bag. “I got you Chinese. I was told to stay away from McDonald’s.”

Hilary pulled a face. “You suck Rei, why is nobody on my side. I am getting better.”

Mariah laughed. “Are you sure? You sound like you’ve been sucking-“

Hilary elbowed Mariah in the side. “I promise I will keep her out of trouble.”

Rei kissed Mariah on the cheek. “Six-thirty, okay?”

Hilary nodded. “Bye!”

"I love you!” Mariah called down the hallway.

“You are so loud; there are other people on this floor…” Hilary said as she led Mariah into her room and she grabbed two forks she hoped were clean.

“I can see that you attempted to tidy up…” Mariah said, taking off her coat. Hilary set out the Chinese food onto the table and sat down. “It is freezing outside.”

Hilary nodded as she opened a container of honey chicken. “It is. I doubt there is much to do over the break.”

Mariah snorted. “I know what I’ll be doing over the break.”

“Gross, Mariah. I do not want to know.”

“BFF’s share everything.”

“I think we should write a list of things we should not discuss.” Hilary said. “That would be one of them.”

“I think it’s because you’re a virgin and you don’t know what you’re missing out on.”

Hilary made a noise. “I am comfortable talking about sex. Just when you talk about sex, you talk about Rei, who is my friend and who I don’t need to picture doing nasty dirty stuff to you.” Mariah giggled. “You haven’t seen him in four months; you could’ve seen me after you guys reunited… horizontally.”

Mariah sighed. “I wanted to see you, Rei understands. Plus, he told me how long you’ve been sick for. Why haven’t you gone to the doctor?”

Hilary pushed at her food. “I’ve been feeling better. I sound much better.” She tried to sound convincing. Mariah stared at her as she took another bite of her food. Convincing Mariah she was actually getting better was going to be harder than everyone else. “I promise. I don’t have a fever anymore.”

“That’s good to hear.” Mariah said as she continued watching her. “I thought for a second that I’d be dragging you to a hospital.”

Hilary laughed. “Not even. I hate hospitals. And Doctors.” She said. “You can drag me there over my dead body.”

Mariah raised her eyebrow. “I might just do that.”

“So, how’s your brother?”

“Annoying. Like, really annoying. You know, I thought with age, people mature but Lee seems to have un-matured or something.”

Hilary laughed. “Does he still make fun of you for Rei?”

Mariah rolled her eyes. “Worse. He weirdly knows every time we would Skype and he would randomly barge in and go ‘what are you doing?’ and stay there and basically over take our conversation and then when I would finally get him out of the room, he would yell ‘don’t have video sex, mom won’t like it!’ and then my mom would come in and it practically ruined any thought of any video sex.”

“Please do not tell me you actually did video sex?”

Mariah laughed and shook her head. “No, that’s a little weird.”

“I wouldn’t even know if that’s considered a thing that I would ever do.”

“Well, you and Tala are kind of in the same country, so you would never need too.” Mariah said. “Where is he?”

“Uh, probably upstairs in Kai’s room, he said they might hang out today or he’s at home.”

“Rei told me you two aren’t talking.”

Hilary froze. Mariah was her best friend. Best friends weren’t meant to judge. Or tell secrets. “He did, did he?” Hilary asked, staring at the turned off television screen.

“He did… and also said you two would also act really weird when you would mention the other one and you’re being really weird right now and stop staring at the television. It’s not even turned on.”

Hilary turned back to Mariah. “I didn’t get weird.”

“You got weird. Tell me what the fuck happened between you two or else?”

“Or else?” Hilary asked. “Nothing fucking happened, Jesus, everyone needs to lay off.”

“I can hear that your hiding something and I’ve been here like thirty minutes. You can not lie to me, I am your best friend, I know things about you that you don’t even know like that you are lying to me right now!”

“I am not lying to you! If I say nothing happened then nothing happened!” Hilary was practically yelling at Mariah. She just wanted Mariah to leave it alone and drop it and never speak about it ever again. Or speak about Kai or mention him or anything.

“Then why did he tell Rei did?”

Hilary’s mouth dropped open. He told Rei….? Hilary let out a wheeze. “He did what?”

Mariah leaned forward in her chair. “I made that up?!”

Hilary felt like Mariah had punched her in the stomach. “You made that up? Why would you do that?”

“I didn’t think you were going to react like that! So something did happen?”

Hilary stared at the table. “Maybe.”

“Maybe?” Mariah repeated. “Did you sleep with him?”

Hilary looked up at Mariah. “No.” She said.

Mariah leaned back in her chair and let out a deep breath. “Good.”

Hilary blinked. “Good? Do you think it’s good that I kissed another boy who isn’t my boyfriend?”

“No! It’s was just a kiss and you clearly regret it… right?”

“Of course, I do?”

“Are you asking me or telling me that you do?”

“Telling you. Jesus, Mariah, I have regretted it since and I have nightmares about it and I’m a complete coward because I haven’t told him.”

“Kai is his best friend.”

“He is.”

“And you’ve been in love with Kai for years….”

Hilary banged her forehead on the table. “I am completely doomed.”

/

“Which one is she?” Mariah whispered into her ear.

“Dark hair, tallest one.” Hilary whispered back. They were at a restaurant down the street, welcoming Mariah.

“Which one is the one you think likes Tyson?”

“Rachael, the lighter brunette. I’m pretty sure she likes him too.” Tyson had invited Rachael. Who then insisted Megan and Emma came as well. Hilary wasn’t too annoyed, she just wanted Emma to realize that Mariah was here and Emma could back the fuck off.

“She’s cute… and the other one is her, right?”

Hilary nodded. Mariah nodded in return. “Yes. I always feel like she’s recording everything with her eyes and one day it will turn up and she’ll use it like a grenade.”

Mariah snorted. “If she so steps within five feet of him, I will throw myself across the table.”

Hilary coughed and took a sip of her drink. “Hi.” She said as the other girls joined them at the table.

“Hi Hilary.” Megan said as she sat across from Hilary with Rachael on her right and Emma on her left. “This must be Mariah.”

Mariah lifted her hand. “Hi.”

“Who are we waiting for?” Megan asked as she lifted her menu.

“The boys.” Mariah said.

“And they say we’re always late…” Hilary said as she took another sip of her water.

Rachael made a tch sound. “Typical. Tyson sent me like fifty messages saying ‘six-thirty, don’t be late’ and he’s the one that’s actually late.”

Megan put her menu down. “So my parents are actually going to be away for New Years Eve and you know what that means... party!” Hilary remembered the last party Megan had at her house. Tyson made out with Tala and had run down the street completely naked. She had jumped into the pool fully clothed. “You going to come?” She asked Hilary.

Hilary shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah, I’ll come.” She said. “As long as I don’t have to watch Tyson run down the street naked again.”

Mariah laughed. “Didn’t he also make out with your boyfriend during a spin the bottle game?” She asked, eyebrow raised. 

"Yes he did. And it was really weirdly hot.”

“Yeah, it kind of was.” Megan agreed.

“Where the fuck is the boys?” Rachael asked.

/

Hilary dropped onto her bed. Tala landed right next to her. “I am so full.” She said, rolling onto her side and snuggling into Tala.

“So am I.” He said. “How on earth can you put more away than me?”

Hilary shrugged her shoulders. “I have no idea. I feel like I ate the weight of a baby horse.” She rubbed her face. She was so full and tired that she felt like she could fall asleep right here. “Megan’s having a new year’s party.”

“Okay.” Tala yawned. “Your bed is much more comfortable than mine.”

“Are you hinting you want to stay here tonight?”

“No… but I will if you want me too.”

Hilary squeezed Tala tighter. “Yes, please stay.”

“I will if you take your cough medicine.”

Hilary pulled a face. “It’s fucking disgusting and I swear it’s not really doing anything.”

“Hilary…”

“Fine, I’ll take it.” She said. “I will force you to have it if you ever get sick.”

“I guess it’s a good thing I don’t get sick then.”

Hilary sat up and started to undo her coat. “Of course you don’t.” She stood up and pulled it off. She had no idea if dinner had gone well or not. Emma glared at Mariah. Mariah glared at Kai. Kai seemed to glare at everyone. Hilary had spent most of her time shoveling food in her face so she didn’t talk. Tyson had acted really weird, like he had never spoken to a girl. Rachael was practically hacking at her chicken. It had left Megan, Tala and Max to hold up the conversation. She didn’t know if Mariah was angry at her. She said she wasn’t but Hilary could hear something in her voice. Maybe she didn’t trust her anymore. She couldn’t see why she would. Hilary threw her shirt on the ground.

“What did the shirt do to you?” Tala asked.

Hilary turned around. “Do you want to have sex?”

“Right now?” Hilary shrugged. “Where is this coming from?” Tala was looking at her like she was acting weird.

Hilary sighed and shrugged her shoulders. Where was this coming from? Was she even ready for sex? How did you know that you were? “I don’t know.” She said truthfully. “How am I meant to know if I’ve never done it?”

Tala laughed. “Come here.” He said, holding out his hand. Hilary grabbed it and Tala pulled her into his lap. “I said we would do it when you were ready, and if you are ready…”

Hilary squeezed Tala’s hand. “I think I’m ready.”

“You think or you know?”

“I don’t know… all I know is that I want too.”

“How about… when you are hundred percent better, we will.” Tala squeezed her hand.

Hilary felt her face grow warm. “Okay.” She said burying her head into Tala’s neck.

/

Mariah lifted two dresses up. “This one?” She held up a sparkly gold dress up with her left hand. “Or this one?” She held up in her right hand, a white dress.

“Um… the gold one?” Hilary picked up her hair brush and began brushing her hair.

“Yes, I think the gold one will be better. White is just asking for trouble.”

Hilary laughed. “There is a reason why I don’t wear white.” She said as she brushed out a large knot. “Because by the time I’m finish wearing it, it’s stained beyond recognition.” She dropped her hair brush on her bed and pulled the hanger out of the dress she was wearing tonight. “I can’t believe you spent four days having sex.”

Mariah scoffed. “I did more than have sex.”

Hilary undid her bathrobe and pulled on the dress. “Like what?”

“I slept. I showered. I ate. And the resumed the sex.”

“Who can go that long?” Hilary asked as she pulled on her stockings.

Mariah looked at her. “I can. Rei can. And from some rumors I have heard… Kai can.”

Hilary raised her eyebrow. “I didn’t need to know that.” She said as she pulled on socks. “About anyone.”

“Hilary, as someone who just agreed to have sex with her boyfriend, you will soon learn many new tricks.” Mariah giggled, looking quite pleased with herself. “I hope.”

Hilary pulled on her boots. “I guess you’ll never be finding out then.” She poked her tongue out.

“You’re so mean! I tell you things!”

“Things I tell you repeatedly that I don’t want to know!”

Mariah made a noise and put her hands on her hips. “Please, please, I can I do make up on your face?”

/

“Wow Hilary, you look really pretty.” Megan said, handing her a plastic cup.

Hilary touched her hair. How was she meant to take that? Was she being sarcastic? Was this a trap? Was she being Regina George and goading her into the compliment? “Um… thanks?” She said before taking a sip of… holy crap she was going to get drunk in three sips.

Megan smiled again and handed Mariah a cup. “I love your dress. You are so gorgeous. Rei is one lucky guy.”

Mariah smiled back and nodded. “He sure is.” Hilary looked between Mariah and Megan. Were they having a stand down? Hilary looked between them again. Hilary hadn’t held high hopes on that they would get along…

“I should go say hi to other people now.” Megan said, looking at Hilary before walking away.

“I can’t believe Kai had sex with her.” Mariah said as she turned around to Hilary’s side.

“Either can I.” Hilary said.

“I wonder if she’ll spill if he’s any good.” H

ilary pulled a face. She whacked Mariah in the arm. “Oh my fucking god!”

Mariah raised her empty hand. “Hey! I’m doing it for you!”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“I do too!” Mariah smiled. “Maybe for both of us.” Hilary looked at Mariah. Had she lost her mind? Maybe she should spend four months having sex with Rei so she would go back to normal. “Curiosity, Hilary, curiosity.”

Hilary drank her drink. Maybe she was curious… though she knew she shouldn’t be. Mariah was always putting dirty minded things inside her head. “How long till Rei gets here?” Megan’s house was filling up fast, already drunk or stoned or both.

“They left like ten minutes ago.”

“Please do not ditch me to go do it in a bathroom.”

“I promise.” Hilary continued drinking her drink. She hadn’t seen Emma or Rachael yet either. She wondered if Emma was going to spend the whole night in a corner watching Mariah and Rei. Hilary laughed. That would be kind of creepy.

“What does Megan’s dad do? This house is huge.”

“Um, I think he’s some huge government official from America, though I think her family comes from money in general, you know.”

“Lucky bitch.” Mariah said.

“She is. And she’s pretty and tall and skinny and she probably makes good grades despite sometime she’s as thick as a brick.”

“Hilary, you are all those things… except the height and you’re not thick… well about some things.” Mariah said. “I have no idea what Kai saw in her.”

“Me either.” Hilary looked into her empty cup. Damn, where would she find more alcohol?

“Speak of the devil…”

Hilary looked up. The boys had arrived. Finally. Tala walked over. Hilary leaned up and gave him a kiss. “Hey.”

“Hey, I see you started without me.”

“I just had the one.” She said, lifting up her empty cup. “We just got here.”

Tala took her empty cup. “I’ll get you another then.” Hilary smiled. Tala kissed her again.

“Ew. Get a room.” Mariah said giving Hilary a look before they both laughed.

“I can’t believe its New Year’s Eve. It’s almost practically my birthday…” Hilary grumbled.

“Yeah, you are a old fart.” Mariah said.

Hilary ignored her. “Where’s Rachael?” She asked Tyson.

Tyson went pink in the cheeks. “She’s… around…” He said.

“Around? You should so go get that!” Mariah said. Tyson shot a glare at her.

Hilary laughed. She could only hope tonight was going to stay good.

/

Hilary yawned as she walked out Megan’s back door. It was too noisy, too hot and too… many bodies inside for her to be there anymore. She had lost the boys to upstairs and whatever they were doing up there and Mariah said she was going to the bathroom. Forty minutes ago she had said that, leaving Hilary in their original spot in Megan’s living room. Hilary had finally decided to move when the couple next her decided that they would do it, right next to her. Hilary looked around. It had been snowing since the last time she had been outside. Great. Good thing she practically lived in boots now. She was actually hot so she undid her coat to cool down. She remembered last New Year’s Eve. Everyone had stayed over Tyson’s and they had spent the night playing stupid drinking games and it wasn’t even midnight when both Tyson and Max started throwing up in the shower together. That had been gross. So gross that it almost made Hilary vomit but luckily, her stomach was a lot stronger than theirs. Hilary looked around Megan’s backyard. It was empty, actually surprising Hilary. At least nobody was doing it in the snow in front of her. 

“You okay?”

Hilary froze. She turned around. It was Kai. Oh god, she was alone with him. Again. Not want she wanted. “I’m fine.”

He cocked his head to the side a little bit. “You sure? You look a bit pale. And I heard you haven’t completely recovered yet.” 

Hilary frowned. Why was everyone insisting on treating her like a child just because she was sick. “I’m fine, just a little warm.”

Kai marched over to her, hand stretched out. What the hell was he doing? Hilary closed her eyes. She flinched as she felt Kai’s freakishly cold hand touched her forehead. “Just a bit warm?” He asked as Hilary re-opened her eyes. “You’re boiling hot.”

“You’re hands are like ice!” She shot back as she took a step away. “So, I’m probably less hot than you think.” Kai’s eyebrows narrowed. Hilary looked away. That didn’t sound right. “I’m fine though! You can stop treating me like a baby like everyone else!”

He smirked, which irked Hilary even more. “I’m not treating you like a baby. You’ve been sick for a very long time. It’s not normal.”

“I’m almost better so everyone can just stop.”

“If you don’t like it, tell them.”

Hilary itched at the side of her neck. “I don’t want to sound rude.”

“They’ll get over it.”

Hilary pulled her phone out of her pocket. It was only eleven-thirty. God, why was it taking forever to hit midnight and 2014 so she could go back and go to sleep under her warm comfy blankets and on her nice soft pillows. “I don’t… think...” Hilary kicked at some snow near her boot. “We should be out here alone.”

Kai’s jaw twitched. “Really?”

“I’m sorry.” She said. Kai looked at her like she had just punched him in the stomach. “I didn’t mean for it to sound like that I…”

“Then how did you want it to sound then? Did you want it to sound like you were actually apologetic that you can’t stand to be alone with me? Or did you want me to just piss off so you don’t have to feel guilty?”

Now Hilary felt like he had punched her in the stomach. He thought she was avoiding him because she was guilty? Could he read her that well? “No!” She said but it fell flat. “I have a boyfriend that happens to be your best friend. We both kissed each other so the blame isn’t just on one of us. We both were there. You’ve been avoiding me too! But you have avoided me for years anyways so it’s not like it’s any different.”

“Why haven’t you told him if you feel so guilty? Is it because he might dump you and you’ll be all alone again?”

Hilary felt tears sting her eyes. Did Kai actually hate her or something? “Why haven’t you told him? Is it cause he might not be friends with you again?” She asked. She was afraid she was about to start crying. She couldn’t, that would be showing weakness and the fact he was hurting her feelings. “Or do you think it was all my fault?” Kai didn’t say anything. “Typical you. You’re just going to shut me off and pretend like I don’t exist until I leave you alone.”

“Typical Hilary, badgering someone when she doesn’t get the hint to fuck off.”

Hilary took a deep breath. This was it. It was over, friendship or whatever the fuck went on, between them. “I was so stupid.” She said. Her voice was quite. And weirdly, she didn’t sound like she was about to cry anymore. “I think I just worked it out that I was holding on to a fantasy that I ever loved you.” She moved towards the door. “Happy New Year, Kai. I hope you’re very happy.” She said as she walked inside. Her whole body was shaking. Holy fuck, had that actually happened? She opened the door, slamming it shut. She felt like she was about to pass out or vomit or both. She wanted to get Tala and just run back to the hotel. She wiped her mouth as she pushed through the crowd, trying to look for Tala. She pulled out her phone and sent him a quick message to meet her out the front door, hoping he would look at it. Why was she so calm? Normally when she had a fight with someone, she would be crying and ranting and be a general mess but she was calm. She was no longer shaking, maybe that was from standing outside and she had cooled down back to a normal temperature. She stood out on Megan’s front step. There was fifteen minutes until midnight. This was officially the worst New Year’s Eve ever.

The door opened and Tala looked at her. “What’s wrong?” He asked as he hugged her. “Are you not feeling well?”

Hilary gripped Tala tightly. She took a deep breath. “No, I’m not. I want to go, but you don’t have too.”

Tala kissed her forehead. “No, I will leave with you. I can’t let you walk home alone now, it’s my manly duty after all.”

Hilary laughed. “Oh god, not the mainly duty thing again.” 


	17. Seventeen

Hilary wheezed. She could hear her heart beating in her ears. Did it normally beat that fast? The New Year hadn’t brought any luck to her yet. In fact, it had brought nothing but bad luck. She was sicker than ever, the weather was shockingly horrible and yesterday, she and Tala had had their first fight. Yes, 2014 was starting off fabulous. Today was the first day back at school, something she had been dreading since the first day of the year. At least it wasn’t snowing while she was walking to school. And that she had Beyonce’s new album blearing. She couldn’t remember a time when she wasn’t listening to her new album. It was perfect, like listening to god or something. Dear god she hoped that Mariah was in some of her classes. She entered the building and walked to her locker. Hilary stopped. Megan was waiting at her locker, looking like she was trying to blend in with the lockers. “Megan?” She asked as she pulled out her headphones. “What’s wrong?” She asked as Megan barely moved an inch from her locker. Did she want Hilary to be able to get into her locker?

“It happened again.” Megan whispered.

Hilary spun the dial on her locker. Her head spun. Jesus, it was like she had done a million spiny circles. “What happened?” She asked. What day was it today? Ah Tuesday. That meant Tuesday morning books. Hilary paused, was it Tuesday?

“It happened, I got another email.”

Hilary turned her head to Megan. “Really? Weird, who was it from?”

“Hilary! It was one of those emails, you know….” Hilary frowned. Oh yes. She nodded. “It said if I don’t tell the real reason on why I broke up with this guy I dated in sophomore year, publicly, on his Facebook wall that they will. And they will do it on every social media site.”

“Is it a bad reason?” Hilary asked. Man, her head hurt so bad. She wondered if she could take anymore panadol.

Megan shifted her feet. “Kind of. I kind of cheated on him with his best friend. He’s really popular and lives back home in New York… and he has like four thousand friends on Facebook and most of them are my friends from back home and if I do it, I’m ruining my reputation back there.”

Hilary closed her locker, breathing deeply as she leant against it. Maybe she could just fall asleep here. She felt so tired. Maybe coming to school was a bad idea. “Honestly is the best policy.” She said. “That’s what my mom says.”

“It’s not that easy. I will never be able to return to New York ever again!”

“I think you’re being a tad melodramatic.”

Megan grabbed Hilary’s sweater and shook her. “Are you listening to me? I’ll be finished! And I won’t be safe here, people will find out!”

Hilary’s head spun. She stumbled slightly. “Maybe, we could come up with a plan?” She suggested. Megan let go of Hilary’s sweater. “After school, we could, I don’t know, work up something, I just, I have to get to homeroom.”

“Are you okay?” Megan asked. “You look really pale.” Megan lifted her hand onto Hilary’s forehead. “Oh my god, you’re burning up!”

Hilary swatted her hand away. “I’m fine.” She said as she took off down the hallway. “I’m fine.” She repeated. She could vaguely hear Megan calling out to her. Hilary blinked a couple of times to unblur her vision. Jesus. It was like she was drunk. Hilary froze. She could see a familiar head of dark blue hair. Jesus Christ, no. The throbbing of her head got worse. Hilary clutched her head. It felt like she was dying. Maybe she was. Dying in the hallway of school in her school uniform. Her vision blurred. Hilary closed her eyes. It felt like she was going… to…

/

She heard the sound of beeping before she opened her eyes. Wherever she was, it was fucking cold. And smelt like bleach. Just like a hospital. Hilary opened her eyes slowly. They burned as if she had hay fever. Hilary coughed. Her throat was dry. And sore.

“You’re awake…”

Hilary opened her eyes fully, only to almost close again. Damn, she was tired or exhausted. “Tala?” She asked. She felt a hand run through her hand. “Drink?” There was a straw placed at her lips and drank as fast as she could.

“Slow, slow, not too fast.” Someone was running their fingers through her hair. Her hand felt like something sticky was pinching it and it felt like a needle was jabbing into it, leaving it sore. She wiped her eyes, finally opening them to see she was in a room, in a hospital. “How are you feeling?”

“Why am I here?” She asked as she tried to sit up higher. Tala helped her by gently lifting up the pillows behind. “What happened?”

Tala sat in the uncomfortable looking chair next to the bed. “You collapsed and you wouldn’t wake up and you were brought here.” Now she remembered. The intense weird feeling she had in the hallway and then the sudden darkness. “The doctors said you have pneumonia and that you should’ve seen a doctor like I told you too.”

Hilary yawned. She was not in the mood for a ‘I told you so’ from anyone. She felt horrible still, like she was drowsy from cough medicine. She rubbed her eyes. “I’m really tired still. I’m going back to sleep.”

Tala stared at her. He looked pissed off. Hilary pushed the pillows so she could lie down. “I’m going to tell the nurse you woke up.” Tala said, standing up.

Hilary closed her eyes.

/

Hilary woke up to someone shaking her shoulder gently.

“Hilary? Your friends are here to see you.”

Hilary groaned. Her hand still hurt from the IV and the sticky bandage helping it stay in. “What?” She asked as she rubbed her eyes. “My friends?” Why wasn’t anyone letting her sleep? Why couldn’t she just go back to the hotel, to her comfy warm safe bed with heaven like pillows?

“Yes your friends. I’ve told them two at a time.” Hilary finally opened her eyes to see the nurse, an older lady with dark hair pulled in a bun wearing dark purple scrubs, fiddling with the machine next to the bed. She helped Hilary sit up and gave her a plastic cup. “Drink.” She opened the door. “You two are first.” Hilary sipped the water slowly. It was freezing cold.

Mariah rushed into the room followed by Rei. “Oh my god!” Mariah threw herself on to Hilary, almost sending the cup of water flying. “Are you okay? I told you were sick and that you needed to go to the doctors but no, you didn’t listen!”

Rei, thankfully, took the cup off her. “Mariah, don’t start.” He said, sitting in the empty plastic chair.

Hilary wondered where Tala was. Was he pissed at her? “I’m sorry.” She said as Mariah sat on the edge of the bed, holding Hilary’s hand. “I thought I was getting better. Honestly.”

“I tried to leave school early but only Tala managed to get out. I was so worried, especially with the way Megan was describing it.”

Hilary could just imagine the story. She didn’t want to ever show her face back at school now because people were more than likely making up some ridiculous story that she had died. “I’m fine. If anyone asks, I’m not dead or giving birth. I can’t imagine what kind of crazy rumour someone has made up.”

“Everyone wanted to come and visit but Tala said only one or two so everyone will visit when the doctors let them.”

“Everyone?” Did Mariah mean Kai as well? Rei was staring at her funnily.

Mariah shrugged her shoulders. “The important people.” Mariah squeezed her hand tighter.

Hilary looked at her lap. Why was she even disappointed? They were no longer friends. Of course he wouldn’t care. God, she had to stop being stupid and just forget him. “Has anyone told my mom?”

“Yeah, she was called but apparently she’s in the middle of a really big case so she might not be able to come.” Rei said, lifting the bag in his hand. “We brought you some stuff.”

“Can you tell her not to bother? Especially if it’s a high profile case?” Hilary’s mom was a lawyer and constantly never home. It never bothered Hilary, maybe it was why she spent so much time watching television.

“Sure, I’ll send her an email when I leave here.” Mariah said. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve seemed sad since new year’s…”

“I’m fine, I promise. I’m not sad.”

Mariah stood up. “Okay, I’ll send your mom an email, I’ll text you when she replies and I’ll be back tomorrow. Is there anything you want me to bring?”

Hilary shrugged. A plane ticket home? “A book. Many books.”

Mariah nodded. She looked over at Rei. It looked like they were having a conversation with their eyes. She wondered what they were trying to communicate with each other. “Okay, get better.” Mariah said as they left the room. Hilary stared at the open door. Did Mariah think she looked sad? Did she look sad? Hilary ran a hand through her hair and leaned back into her pillows. Her hand was seriously chaffing and her head was starting to hurt and it was suddenly way too hot under the blankets. Hilary kicked a foot from underneath and pulled off her sock. Oh yes, much cooler.

/

It was late into the night when she woke up next. She felt like someone had knocked her over the head with a brick or something as heavy. She groaned as she tried to sit up. A hand pushed her back down and then suddenly they were trying to shove a straw into her mouth. The doctor had mentioned the drugs were most likely going to make her sleepy and out of it… but she didn’t think that she’d be falling asleep a minute after the nurse had pushed them into her IV. “Tala?” She asked, coughing, her voice sounded like it had gone through a food processor. There was a pause.

“No. It’s me.”

Hilary’s eyes flew open. It was Kai, standing next to the bed, holding the drink, in the dark. It hardly could be considered dark. The fluorescent lights from outside were practically lighting up the whole room despite the blinds being shut. Kai put the cup down on the tray and sat back down in the chair. There was a book on the tray and can or something similar next to it. How long had he been here? “What… are you doing here?” How was she still tired? She had slept the day away practically, like how much more sleep until she wasn’t so tired anymore? “I thought you hated me.”

“You are seriously sick.” Kai was frowning at her like normal.

Hilary giggled. “You look so funny when you try and be so angry.”

Kai stared at her still, looking very serious. “The nurse told me that you might be… out of it.” He shuffled the chair closer. “I’m being serious Hilary, you are very sick, you are very lucky that it wasn’t worse.”

“You sound like everyone. The doctor gave me a lecture like he was my father.”

“He’s a doctor; he knows how sick you are. I don’t think it was intentional.”

Hilary’s head was heavy again. She was very confused on why Kai was actually here. It could’ve been 2 am for all she knew. “I don’t even know who my father is.” She said in a soft voice. “I don’t even know why I told you that.”

“It’s probably the medication you’re on.” Hilary felt like she was going to cry. Why was she feeling like this? “I don’t remember my mom.”

Hilary looked up at Kai, way too fast for the current state of her head. Kai stared at her, his face blank. He couldn’t… remember his mom? Kai never mentioned his parents, Hilary wasn’t even sure they were still alive… “I deserve it.”

Kai frowned. “Deserved what?” Hilary bit her lip. Kai shifted in the plastic chair. “I think… that you need to go back to sleep and stop thinking such stupid things.”

Hilary snorted. “I’m not being stupid.” She said as she leaned into the pillow. This pillow was so shit compared to her pillows back at the hotel. “I’m realistic.”

“No, I think you are being stupid and your sick and you’re not thinking straight.”

“I think you’re being a meany bum.”

“I can’t believe you just said that.” Hilary stared at Kai. “I miss my bed.” She sighed. “My pillows. I really miss my pillows and I miss my blanket and my pink sleepy jumper and my pillows and I really want pasta with cheese…”


End file.
